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Author
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Topic: Are you a problem thinker?
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tomslo
New to M&M Posts: 17
From:Jefferson City, MO
Registered: Aug 2000
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posted 10-04-2000 02:56 PM
   
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?" Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors... they didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.
As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
IP: 168.166.10.3 |
Stewart
Esteemed Member Posts: 1826
From:Monterey, CA
Registered: Apr 2000
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posted 10-04-2000 03:01 PM
ROAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!OMG that is toooooooo damn funny! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! You shoulda saved this for a Monday, really got us off to a good start!! LOLOLOLOL Stewart IP: 152.163.201.57 |
IIGood
Forum Kahuna Posts: 623
From:Arnold, MD, USA
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 10-04-2000 03:04 PM
ROFLMAO!!Oh man, the parts about thinking and work are too true...LOL!! But me personally, I don't have a thinking problem. I just have a problem thinking.  ------------------
Frank S.
'77 Ghia--"II Good"
'76 Cobra--project IP: 24.240.184.144 |
Dave Gibson
Forum Kahuna Posts: 2040
From:Pensacola, Florida, USA
Registered: Aug 99
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posted 10-04-2000 03:26 PM
ROTFLMAO!!!! Good one Tom!!! Sounds just like the Navy! If You think in common sense, You have it all wrong. Dave & Terri ------------------
66 Bench Coupe (Anna Belle)
65 "A" Code w/4 Speed (Poni)
66 "C" Code Coupe (Sally)
MCA#47921 IP: 205.188.192.26 |
SuzyQ
Esteemed Member Posts: 416
From:Brimfield, MA 01010
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted 10-04-2000 03:27 PM
BAHHHHAAAAAAHAHAHA, that's a GOOD ONE!  IP: 205.188.198.32 |
Diggedirt
New to M&M Posts: 29
From:Peoria, Illinois
Registered: Oct 2000
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posted 10-04-2000 05:08 PM
tomslo, Good one
Dave, I hear ya barkin' big dog! I was in the Navy and I know EXACTLY what you mean. I fully expected to find the topic "Further explorations in square wheel development" in a navy tech manual.
If you're wondering, I was a SEABEE Equipment Operator 90-95 ------------------
72 MACH 1 IP: 207.179.192.48 |
Nos351C
Esteemed Member Posts: 1002
From:Rohnert Park, CA USA
Registered: Jul 2000
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posted 10-04-2000 05:22 PM
rotflmao!!!!!
Wanna come to my philosophy class tomorrow? You can explain the situation to my prof ------------------
Marcus
Fast, Reliable, Cheap.... Pick any TWO of these words.
68 Mustang, still in purgatory.
BOYCOTT EXCESSIVE MOTORSPORTS [This message has been edited by Nos351C (edited 10-04-2000).] IP: 63.203.204.165 |
mustangs68
Forum Kahuna Posts: 8144
From:Phoebus Virginia,USA 1968 Fastback & 1995 Vert MCA#39406 M&M #12
Registered: May 99
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posted 10-04-2000 07:55 PM
I think that's in my Company handbook
samIP: 209.240.200.123 |
UnbridledFury
Esteemed Member Posts: 294
From:Tacoma, WA
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 10-04-2000 10:29 PM
I'll have to think about this........
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Motor Safe! George
75 Mustang II
94 Ford Ranger 4X4 XLT
members.xoom.com/UnbridldFury Madness takes its toll. Please have EXACT change! IP: 12.82.137.5 |
Ked
Esteemed Member Posts: 1940
From:Fayetteville, N.C., U.S.A
Registered: Jul 99
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posted 10-04-2000 10:37 PM
Boy! That's a no brainer!! ------------------
The MOST Conservative Grrl 1970 Mustang Coupe, the SheStang
1964 Fairlane Sedan,
constant project
1994 Taurus, the MommyMobile
'94 Mustang GT Convertible IP: 158.252.83.129 |
UnbridledFury
Esteemed Member Posts: 294
From:Tacoma, WA
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 10-04-2000 10:41 PM
"No Brainer"?? It's easy for you to say!! ------------------
Motor Safe! George
75 Mustang II
94 Ford Ranger 4X4 XLT
members.xoom.com/UnbridldFury Madness takes its toll. Please have EXACT change! IP: 12.82.137.5 |
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