1: Never EVER ask me if I think you look fat. If you think you're
fat, you probably are. But just in case you ask, the answer is no.

2: Don't ask what I'm thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation,
monster trucks, and my favorite Homer Simpson quotes.

3: Anything you wear is fine. Really.
3a: You have enough clothes.
3b: You have too many shoes.
3c: Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes - what makes you think
we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of fifty, would look good
with your dress? We can barely dress ourselves.

4: Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect me to like it.
And NEVER expect me to ask you why you are crying. No matter what
the "real reason" is, it always ends up that I made you cry somehow.

5: Tell me what you want. Subtle hints don't work... I'm too stupid to figure
those out. This is especially important when it comes to dining out.
I'm a man... we don't care what we eat. We only care about what we may get
after taking you out to dinner. Absolutely "NO CRYING" during or after dinner!

6: If something I said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad and angry, I really really meant the other one.

7: Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to
complain about having their boobs stared at. Men have a serious illness
that is directly related to the size of a woman's breasts. This illness causes
us to stare uncontrollably and not be able to look away even when we know
we are likely to get caught. This is an illness that I will have for the rest of
my
life and you should feel sorry for me, be compassionate, and understanding.

8: You can either ask me to do something OR tell me how you want it done -
but not both. And if you "ask me", don't expect me to do it anytime soon.
If you want it done now, then bribery with sex and/or food will get it done
faster.

9: Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it
be.

10: Anything I said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in a new argument.
I can hardly remember what I mumbled to you 10 minutes ago, so it's not
fair to expect me to remember something that you said I said that long ago.
From now on, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

Dave & Terri

1: Never EVER ask me questions you don't want the honest answers to.

2: Don't ask what I'm thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Mach 1s, world news, stocks and investments, tools, science, engineering, math, religion, abortion, etchics, the criminal justice system, and my favorite Mark Twain quotes.

3: Anything you wear is fine. Really.
3a: Cleavage is encouraged.
3b: Bikinis rule.
3c: White blouses and black skirts will get you anything you want.
3d: As far as caring about what people think about my my clothes; show me a man that cares about fashion, and I'll show you a woman.

4: Crying is blackmail. It works, too, damn it! Use it if you must, but don't expect me to like it.

5: Tell me what you want. Subtle hints don't work... I can't read your mind. Don't think you can read minds, either. You can't.

I'm a man... we don't care what we eat, as long as it involves meat and potatos, or seafood. Show me a man that's a vegetarian, and I'll show you a man that likes fashion.

6: If something I said can be interpreted two ways, use your common sense. You know what I meant.

7: Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. You don't shout "HEY YOU!!!" in a crowd and not expect people to turn around.

8: You can either ask me to do something OR tell me how you want it done - but not both.
If you knew how to do it, you would have done it, right?

9: I won't complain about what you spent on your new jacket; forget about what my new intake costs.

10: If we should get into a 'discussion,' stick to the subject. My not wanting to go to the mall with you and your sister-in-law has nothing to do with anything except my not wanting to go to the mall with you and your sister-in-law. Life is full of problems. Don't go hunting for them.

Just remember one important rule. Never give a woman something that plugs in for her birthday or aniversary.

And ALWAYS put the seat down.

Dave & Terri

quote:

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Originally posted by Dave Gibson:
Just remember one important rule. Never give a woman something that plugs in for her birthday or aniversary.

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What about battery powered?

quote:

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Originally posted by Dave Gibson:
Just remember one important rule. Never give a woman something that plugs in for her birthday or aniversary.

---

Heh heh heh...I love those perfect setup lines!

Dave & Terri

Carry on with your silly boy talk.