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Author
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Topic: You Might be a redneck if.....
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Ked
Moderator Posts: 5841
From: Filledwithhelium (it is not hot air!), Floating in the Atmosphere
Registered: Jul 99
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posted 10-04-2001 09:51 PM
   
You take your dog for a walk and you both pee on the same tree.
You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a
loved one.
You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You've bathed with flea and tick soap.
You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
You took a fishing pole to Sea World.
You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
You consider your license plate personalized because a relative made it.
The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you
home.
You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?"
Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take
them out to see what it is. Naaaaaaaawwwwwww, ah caint ralate tew a single one of dese....
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The MOST Conservative Grrl 1970 Mustang Coupe, the SheStang
1964 Fairlane Sedan, constant project
'94 Mustang GT Convertible, canary yellow, the Queen Bee Mustangsandmore.com Member #142
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kwazykat
Moderator Posts: 4032
From: orange county, nc , M&M member #92
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 10-05-2001 09:15 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ked:
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.....
aw!! are you pickin' on me!?! come on now .... only half of that is true!!!
BUT!!... if you see me buying nascar-curtains at big-city walmart for trukgrrl while i am getting ammo for somebody's grandma.... um.... THEN we have an issue!!
hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaaaaa 
curtain-less kk
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AKBOSSMAN
Gearhead Posts: 1447
From: WASILLA , AK USA M&M #743 MCA #40857
Registered: Oct 2000
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posted 10-05-2001 02:13 PM
You've bathed with flea and tick soap.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
I don't get it? 
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WAYNE CURTIS
70 GRABBER GREEN BOSS 302
01 Focus ZX3
03 Boss 281 (waiting on order form)
92 SHELBY 4X4 (K-9 IDITAROD LEAD DOG)
www.iditarodtrail.com
"If your under control then your not going fast enough" Parnelli Jones
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