Author
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Topic: Battle of the Sexes: The Rules!!
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Ked Moderator Posts: 5060 From: Fayetteville, N.C., U.S.A Registered: Jul 99
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posted 08-19-2001 07:13 PM
The Rules For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, but that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the points system: SIMPLE DUTIES 1) You make the bed..............................................+1 2) You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0 3) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1 4) You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5 5) You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0 6) When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1 7) When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2 8) You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5 in the snow.........................+8 but return with beer................-5 and no liners......................-25 9) You check out a suspicious noise at night..................... 0 10) You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0 11) You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5 You pummel it with a six iron............................+10 It's her cat.............................................-40 AT THE PARTY 1) You stay by her side the entire party......................... 0 2) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy........................................-2 Named Tiffany.................................................-4 Tiffany is a dancer..........................................-10 With breast implants.........................................-18 HER BIRTHDAY 1) You remember her birthday......................................0 2) You buy a card and flowers.....................................0 3) You take her out to dinner.................................... 0 4) You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar..........+1 Okay, it is a sports bar..................................-2 And it's all-you-can-eat night............................-3 It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team..............-10 A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS 1) Go with a pal..................................................0 2) The pal is happily married....................................+1 3) The pal is single.............................................-7 He drives a Ferrari..........................................-10 With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)..................-25 A NIGHT OUT WITH HER 1) You take her to a movie.......................................+2 2) You take her to a movie she likes.............................+4 You take her to a movie you hate..............................+6 You take her to a movie you like..............................-2 It's called Death Cop 3.......................................-3 Which features Cyborgs that eat humans........................-9 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.. ...-15 YOUR PHYSIQUE 1) You develop a noticeable pot belly...............................-15 2) You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it...+10 3) You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts............................................-30 4) You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".............-800 THE BIG QUESTION 1) She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" 2) You hesitate in responding...................................-10 3) You reply, "Where?"..........................................-35 4) You reply, "No, I think it's your *** "......................-100 5) Any other response...........................................-20 COMMUNICATION 1) When she wants to talk about a problem: 2) You listen, displaying a concerned expression..................0 3) You listen, for over 30 minutes...............................+5 4) You relate to her problem and share a similar experience......+50 5) Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well, what do you think I should do".........................-50 6) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the T.V.....+100 7) She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep..........-200
------------------ The MOST Conservative Grrl 1970 Mustang Coupe, the SheStang 1964 Fairlane Sedan, constant project '94 Mustang GT Convertible, canary yellow, the Queen Bee "you can run, but you can't hive" Mustangsandmore.com Member #142 I will not tip toe through life, only to arrive safely at death.
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Stewart Moderator Posts: 6394 From: Monterey, CA Mustangsandmore Member #437 Registered: Apr 2000
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posted 08-19-2001 07:22 PM
Hehehehehehe...we don't need no stinkin' rules!!! Stewart
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kwazykat Moderator Posts: 3472 From: orange county, nc , M&M member #92 Registered: Jun 99
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posted 08-19-2001 07:31 PM
quote: Originally posted by Stewart: Hehehehehehe...we don't need no stinkin' rules!!!
sure ya do.... otherwise you couldnt break them..... isnt that the best part?????? heh heh kk
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Mike65 Gearhead Posts: 573 From: Columbia,NJ, USA. 65 fastback. MCA #-04549 Registered: Dec 2000
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posted 08-19-2001 07:35 PM
RULES! what rules I did'nt know there any rules. And i have been married for 15 years, how about that!!!. ------------------ Mike & Robin 65 Mustang Fastback 87 Crown Vic 96 Ranger Extd Cab 99 Explorer Sport M&M #- 890 MCA #- 04549
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Mustang Tally Gearhead Posts: 1193 From: Winston Salem, NC Registered: May 2000
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posted 08-19-2001 10:16 PM
Mike: "Robins" have been known to sprout wings and "fly" !! So you brush up on those rules...
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Dave Witthoeft Gearhead Posts: 496 From: IL. Registered: Dec 2000
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posted 08-19-2001 10:56 PM
Arent some rules made to be broken? ------------------ MCA# 48755 71 Mach 1 69 Fastback 92 F-150 M&M#884
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Dave Gibson Moderator Posts: 3933 From: Pensacola, Florida, USA M&M#166 MCA#47921 Registered: Aug 99
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posted 08-20-2001 12:19 AM
Ked, You forgot to mention that a woman reserves the right to change the rules at any given moment and with out any prior notice. LOLDave & Terri ------------------ Poison Ivy '65 Fastback Modified 289 4V, C-4 w/shift kit, dual exhaust, styled steal wheels, 2.80:1 limited slip rear, rally pac, A/C
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68F100 Gearhead Posts: 952 From: Fort Madison, Iowa Registered: Oct 99
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posted 08-20-2001 01:01 AM
Bah! Most rules were made to be broken. It's like telling your kid not to do something, they just HAVE to do it to find out what happens.
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Ked Moderator Posts: 5060 From: Fayetteville, N.C., U.S.A Registered: Jul 99
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posted 08-20-2001 11:40 AM
quote: Originally posted by Dave Gibson: Ked, You forgot to mention that a woman reserves the right to change the rules at any given moment and with out any prior notice. LOLDave & Terri
That one goes without saying!!!!!!
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SteveLaRiviere Administrator Posts: 15696 From: Saco, Maine MCA # 47773 Registered: May 99
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posted 08-20-2001 06:41 PM
Now there are rules? I'm screwed! ------------------ '70 Mustang Mach 1 M code 351C 4V/FMX/3.25 open '72 Mustang Sprint Coupe 351C 4V/FMX/4.30 Trac Lok '94 F-150 XL 5.8L/E4OD/3.55 Limited Slip '97 Probe GTS 2.5L DOHC Ford. The closer you look, the better WE look!
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mellowyellow Gearhead Posts: 2009 From: So. Fl. Registered: Aug 2000
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posted 08-20-2001 07:00 PM
Nice guys DON'T win races!! To obey is to LOSE!! IMNSHO
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AKBOSSMAN Gearhead Posts: 834 From: WASILLA , AK USA M&M #743 MCA #40857 Registered: Oct 2000
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posted 08-20-2001 07:21 PM
quote: Originally posted by Mike65: RULES! what rules I did'nt know there any rules. And i have been married for 15 years, how about that!!!.
Yea it's Sweet sixteen here and I never got an owners manual or a decoder book! ------------------ WAYNE CURTIS 70 GRABBER GREEN BOSS 302 01 Focus ZX3 92 SHELBY 4X4 (K-9 IDITAROD LEAD DOG) www.iditarodtrail.com "If your under control then your not going fast enough" Parnelli Jones
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UnbridledFury Gearhead Posts: 753 From: Tacoma, WA Registered: Jun 99
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posted 08-21-2001 12:34 AM
quote: Originally posted by AKBOSSMAN: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Mike65: [b]RULES! what rules I did'nt know there any rules. And i have been married for 15 years, how about that!!!.
Yea it's Sweet sixteen here and I never got an owners manual or a decoder book! [/B][/QUOTE]
Rules??? Dang it! Now they tell me! Is this rule list common knowledge? And if it is, why on earth didn't I ever hear of it.... Oh man, I am doomed.... ------------------ Motor Safe! George 75 Mustang II 94 Ford Ranger XLT 4X4 (172,000+ miles) I need a new truck! http://members.nbci.com/UnbridldFury http://www.pierce-county-mustang-club.org/ M&M Member #47 Madness takes its toll. Please have EXACT change!
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Wooden Gearhead Posts: 432 From: San Jose, Ca. USA Registered: Jun 99
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posted 08-21-2001 11:47 AM
I've never really paid attention to the rules, but no way would I dare to take my wife of 31 years to Mickey D's for our anniversary! I'm not really a coward to speak of, but she might come unglued at that. Later Joel------------------ *|* \_/ Joel Theriault San Jose, Ca. '77 Cobra II (White & REd stripes) [email protected] http://www.geocities.com//Heartland/Bluffs/7660/mustang.html
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Mustang Tally Gearhead Posts: 1193 From: Winston Salem, NC Registered: May 2000
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posted 08-21-2001 01:27 PM
Oh, Joel..You might be wrong....Don't you see how romantic that would be, esp. if you met or had your first date there? Everytime my hubby and I go to the restaurant of our first date, he always points out the area where we sat...(where "it all began")18 years ago... He told me years later that he only had $20 in his pocket and I remember him telling me to order anything on the menu that I wanted...He apologized for not buying me some flowers on our first date, but he was afraid he'd run out of $$ !! Now, isn't that sweet???
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msbeehavn Journeyman Posts: 22 From: Mountlake Terrace, WA Registered: Jul 2001
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posted 08-21-2001 02:56 PM
quote: Originally posted by Mustang Tally: Everytime my hubby and I go to the restaurant of our first date, he always points out the area where we sat...(where "it all began")18 years ago...
All you guys need to take note...it's the small things that mean the world to us women..that's what romance is all about! ------------------ LuAnn - 1996 Cobra Coupe The owner and other part-time driver of one BADASS Black Cobra "I Feel the Need for Speed" M #1443 [This message has been edited by msbeehavn (edited 08-21-2001).]
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UnbridledFury Gearhead Posts: 753 From: Tacoma, WA Registered: Jun 99
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posted 08-21-2001 03:26 PM
quote: Originally posted by Wooden: I've never really paid attention to the rules, but no way would I dare to take my wife of 31 years to Mickey D's for our anniversary! I'm not really a coward to speak of, but she might come unglued at that. Later Joel
Joel, You got to understand that I have a very warped sense of humor. And in reality, we did not go to McDs. But she would expect it from me! There is some planning to go with the thought, but it will happen one of these years - and it will be a very special moment. Last year, I did something for our 20th anniversary that I will have a difficult time topping in future milestones. I brought the family to the office to check out my new workplace. On the way home, I pretended to look for a new store in town, got "lost", used a Ford dealership to "turn around" in, and then stopped and bought her a new Windstar. So you see, I really don't play by anyone's rules but my own. And most of the time it is spur of the moment type of thing. Keeps it interesting! ------------------ Motor Safe! George 75 Mustang II 94 Ford Ranger XLT 4X4 (172,000+ miles) I need a new truck! http://members.nbci.com/UnbridldFury http://www.pierce-county-mustang-club.org/ M&M Member #47 Madness takes its toll. Please have EXACT change!
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jkilroy Gearhead Posts: 1206 From: Austin, TX Registered: Dec 99
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posted 08-21-2001 04:41 PM
What battle? To imply that there was a 'battle' would mean that there must be some sort of conflict yet to be decided.Well we all know that is not the case. The women won years ago. In the words of Eddie Murphy. "I don't know what women are all worked up about. They got half the money and ALL the p****!" ------------------ Jay Kilroy 68' Fastback GT 390 "No such thing as a cam thats too big"
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