Brought to you in part by:

.

Tools & Supplies by Eastwood

  Mustangsandmore Forums
  Sam's Place
  Battle of the Sexes: The Rules!!

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq | search

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Battle of the Sexes: The Rules!!
Ked
Moderator

Posts: 5060
From: Fayetteville, N.C., U.S.A
Registered: Jul 99

posted 08-19-2001 07:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ked   Click Here to Email Ked     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The Rules



For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when
dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you
to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance,
one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she
likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are
subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, but that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
1) You make the bed..............................................+1
2) You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0
3) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1
4) You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5
5) You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0
6) When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
7) When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2
8) You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
in the snow.........................+8
but return with beer................-5
and no liners......................-25
9) You check out a suspicious noise at night..................... 0
10) You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0
11) You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5
You pummel it with a six iron............................+10
It's her cat.............................................-40

AT THE PARTY
1) You stay by her side the entire party......................... 0
2) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a
College drinking buddy........................................-2
Named Tiffany.................................................-4
Tiffany is a dancer..........................................-10
With breast implants.........................................-18

HER BIRTHDAY
1) You remember her birthday......................................0
2) You buy a card and flowers.....................................0
3) You take her out to dinner.................................... 0
4) You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar..........+1
Okay, it is a sports bar..................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night............................-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face
is painted the colors of your favorite team..............-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
1) Go with a pal..................................................0
2) The pal is happily married....................................+1
3) The pal is single.............................................-7
He drives a Ferrari..........................................-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)..................-25

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
1) You take her to a movie.......................................+2
2) You take her to a movie she likes.............................+4
You take her to a movie you hate..............................+6
You take her to a movie you like..............................-2
It's called Death Cop 3.......................................-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans........................-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.. ...-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
1) You develop a noticeable pot belly...............................-15
2) You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it...+10
3) You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and
baggy Hawaiian shirts............................................-30
4) You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".............-800

THE BIG QUESTION
1) She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
2) You hesitate in responding...................................-10
3) You reply, "Where?"..........................................-35
4) You reply, "No, I think it's your *** "......................-100
5) Any other response...........................................-20

COMMUNICATION
1) When she wants to talk about a problem:
2) You listen, displaying a concerned expression..................0
3) You listen, for over 30 minutes...............................+5
4) You relate to her problem and share a similar experience......+50
5) Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying
"well, what do you think I should do".........................-50
6) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the T.V.....+100
7) She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep..........-200

------------------
The MOST Conservative Grrl

1970 Mustang Coupe, the SheStang
1964 Fairlane Sedan, constant project
'94 Mustang GT Convertible, canary yellow, the Queen Bee "you can run, but you can't hive"

Mustangsandmore.com Member #142

I will not tip toe through life, only to arrive safely at death.

IP: Logged

Stewart
Moderator

Posts: 6394
From: Monterey, CA Mustangsandmore Member #437
Registered: Apr 2000

posted 08-19-2001 07:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stewart   Click Here to Email Stewart     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hehehehehehe...we don't need no stinkin' rules!!!

Stewart

IP: Logged

kwazykat
Moderator

Posts: 3472
From: orange county, nc , M&M member #92
Registered: Jun 99

posted 08-19-2001 07:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for kwazykat   Click Here to Email kwazykat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Stewart:
Hehehehehehe...we don't need no stinkin' rules!!!

sure ya do....
otherwise you couldnt break them.....
isnt that the best part??????
heh heh


kk

IP: Logged

Mike65
Gearhead

Posts: 573
From: Columbia,NJ, USA. 65 fastback. MCA #-04549
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 08-19-2001 07:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mike65   Click Here to Email Mike65     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
RULES! what rules I did'nt know there any rules. And i have been married for 15 years, how about that!!!.

------------------
Mike & Robin
65 Mustang Fastback
87 Crown Vic
96 Ranger Extd Cab
99 Explorer Sport
M&M #- 890
MCA #- 04549

IP: Logged

Mustang Tally
Gearhead

Posts: 1193
From: Winston Salem, NC
Registered: May 2000

posted 08-19-2001 10:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mustang Tally   Click Here to Email Mustang Tally     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mike: "Robins" have been known to sprout wings and "fly" !!

So you brush up on those rules...

IP: Logged

Dave Witthoeft
Gearhead

Posts: 496
From: IL.
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 08-19-2001 10:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dave Witthoeft   Click Here to Email Dave Witthoeft     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Arent some rules made to be broken?

------------------
MCA# 48755
71 Mach 1
69 Fastback
92 F-150
M&M#884

IP: Logged

Dave Gibson
Moderator

Posts: 3933
From: Pensacola, Florida, USA M&M#166 MCA#47921
Registered: Aug 99

posted 08-20-2001 12:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dave Gibson   Click Here to Email Dave Gibson     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ked,
You forgot to mention that a woman reserves the right to change the rules at any given moment and with out any prior notice. LOL

Dave & Terri

------------------
Poison Ivy
'65 Fastback Modified 289 4V, C-4 w/shift kit, dual exhaust, styled steal wheels, 2.80:1 limited slip rear, rally pac, A/C

IP: Logged

68F100
Gearhead

Posts: 952
From: Fort Madison, Iowa
Registered: Oct 99

posted 08-20-2001 01:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 68F100   Click Here to Email 68F100     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bah! Most rules were made to be broken. It's like telling your kid not to do something, they just HAVE to do it to find out what happens.

IP: Logged

Ked
Moderator

Posts: 5060
From: Fayetteville, N.C., U.S.A
Registered: Jul 99

posted 08-20-2001 11:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ked   Click Here to Email Ked     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Dave Gibson:
Ked,
You forgot to mention that a woman reserves the right to change the rules at any given moment and with out any prior notice. LOL

Dave & Terri



That one goes without saying!!!!!!

IP: Logged

SteveLaRiviere
Administrator

Posts: 15696
From: Saco, Maine MCA # 47773
Registered: May 99

posted 08-20-2001 06:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SteveLaRiviere   Click Here to Email SteveLaRiviere     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Now there are rules?

I'm screwed!

------------------
'70 Mustang Mach 1 M code 351C 4V/FMX/3.25 open
'72 Mustang Sprint Coupe 351C 4V/FMX/4.30 Trac Lok
'94 F-150 XL 5.8L/E4OD/3.55 Limited Slip
'97 Probe GTS 2.5L DOHC
Ford. The closer you look, the better WE look!

IP: Logged

mellowyellow
Gearhead

Posts: 2009
From: So. Fl.
Registered: Aug 2000

posted 08-20-2001 07:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mellowyellow     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nice guys DON'T win races!! To obey is to LOSE!! IMNSHO

IP: Logged

AKBOSSMAN
Gearhead

Posts: 834
From: WASILLA , AK USA M&M #743 MCA #40857
Registered: Oct 2000

posted 08-20-2001 07:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AKBOSSMAN   Click Here to Email AKBOSSMAN     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Mike65:
RULES! what rules I did'nt know there any rules. And i have been married for 15 years, how about that!!!.



Yea it's Sweet sixteen here and I never got an owners manual or a decoder book!

------------------
WAYNE CURTIS
70 GRABBER GREEN BOSS 302
01 Focus ZX3
92 SHELBY 4X4 (K-9 IDITAROD LEAD DOG)
www.iditarodtrail.com
"If your under control then your not going fast enough" Parnelli Jones

IP: Logged

UnbridledFury
Gearhead

Posts: 753
From: Tacoma, WA
Registered: Jun 99

posted 08-21-2001 12:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for UnbridledFury   Click Here to Email UnbridledFury     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by AKBOSSMAN:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Mike65:
[b]RULES! what rules I did'nt know there any rules. And i have been married for 15 years, how about that!!!.



Yea it's Sweet sixteen here and I never got an owners manual or a decoder book!


[/B][/QUOTE]

Rules??? Dang it! Now they tell me! Is this rule list common knowledge? And if it is, why on earth didn't I ever hear of it.... Oh man, I am doomed....

------------------
Motor Safe!

George
75 Mustang II
94 Ford Ranger XLT 4X4 (172,000+ miles) I need a new truck!
http://members.nbci.com/UnbridldFury
http://www.pierce-county-mustang-club.org/
M&M Member #47
Madness takes its toll. Please have EXACT change!

IP: Logged

Wooden
Gearhead

Posts: 432
From: San Jose, Ca. USA
Registered: Jun 99

posted 08-21-2001 11:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Wooden   Click Here to Email Wooden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've never really paid attention to the rules, but no way would I dare to take my wife of 31 years to Mickey D's for our anniversary! I'm not really a coward to speak of, but she might come unglued at that.
Later
Joel

------------------
*|*
\_/ Joel Theriault
San Jose, Ca.
'77 Cobra II (White & REd stripes)
[email protected]
http://www.geocities.com//Heartland/Bluffs/7660/mustang.html

IP: Logged

Mustang Tally
Gearhead

Posts: 1193
From: Winston Salem, NC
Registered: May 2000

posted 08-21-2001 01:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mustang Tally   Click Here to Email Mustang Tally     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh, Joel..You might be wrong....

Don't you see how romantic that would be, esp. if you met or had your first date there?

Everytime my hubby and I go to the restaurant of our first date, he always points out the area where we sat...(where "it all began")18 years ago...

He told me years later that he only had $20 in his pocket and I remember him telling me to order anything on the menu that I wanted...He apologized for not buying me some flowers on our first date, but he was afraid he'd run out of $$ !!

Now, isn't that sweet???

IP: Logged

msbeehavn
Journeyman

Posts: 22
From: Mountlake Terrace, WA
Registered: Jul 2001

posted 08-21-2001 02:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for msbeehavn   Click Here to Email msbeehavn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Mustang Tally:


Everytime my hubby and I go to the restaurant of our first date, he always points out the area where we sat...(where "it all began")18 years ago...


All you guys need to take note...it's the small things that mean the world to us women..that's what romance is all about!

------------------
LuAnn -

1996 Cobra Coupe
The owner and other part-time driver of one BADASS Black Cobra

"I Feel the Need for Speed"
M #1443

[This message has been edited by msbeehavn (edited 08-21-2001).]

IP: Logged

UnbridledFury
Gearhead

Posts: 753
From: Tacoma, WA
Registered: Jun 99

posted 08-21-2001 03:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for UnbridledFury   Click Here to Email UnbridledFury     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Wooden:
I've never really paid attention to the rules, but no way would I dare to take my wife of 31 years to Mickey D's for our anniversary! I'm not really a coward to speak of, but she might come unglued at that.
Later
Joel


Joel,

You got to understand that I have a very warped sense of humor. And in reality, we did not go to McDs. But she would expect it from me! There is some planning to go with the thought, but it will happen one of these years - and it will be a very special moment.

Last year, I did something for our 20th anniversary that I will have a difficult time topping in future milestones. I brought the family to the office to check out my new workplace. On the way home, I pretended to look for a new store in town, got "lost", used a Ford dealership to "turn around" in, and then stopped and bought her a new Windstar.

So you see, I really don't play by anyone's rules but my own. And most of the time it is spur of the moment type of thing. Keeps it interesting!

------------------
Motor Safe!

George
75 Mustang II
94 Ford Ranger XLT 4X4 (172,000+ miles) I need a new truck!
http://members.nbci.com/UnbridldFury
http://www.pierce-county-mustang-club.org/
M&M Member #47
Madness takes its toll. Please have EXACT change!

IP: Logged

jkilroy
Gearhead

Posts: 1206
From: Austin, TX
Registered: Dec 99

posted 08-21-2001 04:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jkilroy   Click Here to Email jkilroy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What battle? To imply that there was a 'battle' would mean that there must be some sort of conflict yet to be decided.

Well we all know that is not the case.

The women won years ago.

In the words of Eddie Murphy.

"I don't know what women are all worked up about. They got half the money and ALL the p****!"

------------------
Jay Kilroy
68' Fastback GT 390
"No such thing as a cam thats too big"

IP: Logged

All times are ET (US)

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Mustangsandmore Front Page

Copyright 2001, Steve LaRiviere


Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.47d

Amazon Honor System Click Here to Pay Learn More

[About M&M][Acronym Guide][Calendar of Events][Chat Room][Classified Ads] [Links]

[Members' Photos] [Restoration Info][Tech Tips] [ Technical Articles][Ford Technical Data

[ Mustangsandmore.com Bookstore] [Advertise on Mustangsandmore.com] [Mustangsandmore.com T-Shirts]