Topic: marine corp etiquette
From: doerun, ga.
Registered: Nov 2000
posted 08-29-2006 03:29 PM
Marine Corp Etiquette
>The Commandant of the Marine Corps was General Al Gray, a crusty old "Field
>Marine." He loved his Marines and often slipped into the mess hall wearing
>a faded old field jacket without any rank insignia on it. He would go
>through the chow line just like a private. (In this way, assured of being
>given the same rations that the lowest enlisted man received.
>And, woe be it to the mess officer if the food was found to be "unfit in
>quality or quantity.) Upon becoming Commandant, General Gray was expected
>to do a great deal of "formal entertaining," fancy dinner parties in full
>dress blue uniform. Now, the general would rather have been in the field
>eating cold "C-rats" around a fighting hole with a bunch of young "hard
>Charging" Marines. But the General knew his duty, and as a Marine he was
>determined to do it to the best of his ability.
>During these formal parties a detachment of highly polished Marines from
>"Eighth and Eye" (Marine Barracks located at 8th and I Streets in
>Washington, D.C., home of the Silent Drill Team) were detailed to assume
>the position of "parade rest" at various intervals around the ballroom
>where the festivities were being held.
>At some point during one of these affairs, a very refined, big-chested,
>blue-haired lady picked up a tray of pastry and went around the room
>offering confections to the guests. When she noticed these Marines in dress
>blues, standing like sculptures all around the room, she was moved with
>She knew that several of these men were fresh from our victory in Desert
>Storm. She made a beeline for the closest Lance Corporal, drew near him and
>asked, "Would you like pastry young man?" The young Marine snapped to
>"attention" and replied, "I don't eat that ****, Ma'am." Just as quickly,
>he resumed the position of "parade rest."
>His gaze remained fixed on some distant point throughout the exchange. The
>fancy lady was completely taken aback! She blinked, her eyes widened, her
>mouth dropped open. So startled was she that she immediately began to doubt
>what she had heard. In a quivering voice she asked, "W-W-What did you say?"
>The Marine snapped back to the position of "attention" (like the arm of a
>mousetrap smacking it's wooden base). Then he said, "I don't eat that ****,
>Ma'am." And just as smartly as before, back to the position of "parade
>rest" he went.
>This time, there was no doubt. The fancy lady immediately became incensed,
>and felt insulted. After all, here she was an important lady, taking the
>time to offer something nice to this enlisted man (well below her station
>in life), and he had the nerve to say THAT to HER!
>She exclaimed, "Well! I never...!" The lady remembered that she had met
>"that military man in charge of all these 'soldiers' earlier. She spotted
>General Gray from across the room. He had a cigar clenched between his
>teeth and a camouflaged canteen cup full of bourbon in his left hand. He
>was talking to a group of 1st and 2nd Lieutenants. So blue haired lady went
>straight over to the Commandant and interrupted.
>"General, I offered some pastry to that young man over there. And, do you
>know what he told me?" General Gray cocked his eyebrow, took the cigar out
>of his mouth and said,
>"Well, no Ma'am, I don't."
>The lady took in a deep breath, confident that she was adequately
>expressing with her body language her considerable rage and indignation.
>As she wagged her head in cadence with her words, and she paused between
>each word for effect, "He said, 'I - don't- eat - that - **** - Ma'am!'"
>The lieutenants were in a state of near apoplexy A couple of them choked
>back chuckles, and turned their heads to avoid having their smirks
>The next thought that most of them had was, "God, I hope it wasn't one of
>MY Marines!" and the color left their faces.
>General Gray wrinkled his brow, cut his eyes in the direction of the
>lieutenants, put his free hand to his chin and muttered a subdued, "Hummm.
>Which one did you say it was Ma'am?," the General asked.
>"That tall sturdy one right over there near the window, General," the woman
>said with smug satisfaction.
>One of the lieutenants began to look sick and put a hand on the wall for
>support. General Gray, seemed deep in thought, hand still to his chin,
>wrinkled brow. Suddenly, he looked up and his expression changed to one
>indicating he had made a decision. He looked the fancy lady right in the
>eyes and said, "Well, fxxx him! Don't give him any."
racing is real
everything else is just a game.
81 capri-302-7.25 @93mph 1/8
1.54 60ft 50 % of the fun dragracing is meeting people who will give you the shirt off their back to wipe the grease off your hands.
M&M member #839 http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y6/mike470/adel2.jpg
From: So. Fl.
Registered: Aug 2000
posted 08-30-2006 10:56 AM
That is a redo of a 50's vintage "Little Johnny" story about the teacher passing out cookies to the class only he told her to stick 'em ** **** ***!
and his mother said the same thing, in reply to teacher's complaint. It was a more shocking joke back then but today, it would probably be commonplace in some of our high schools!
From: Frederick County, MD
Registered: Oct 2001
posted 09-01-2006 05:44 PM
... that was a great one. God bless our Marines.
From: doerun, ga.
Registered: Nov 2000
posted 09-01-2006 09:33 PM
[This message has been edited by capri man (edited 09-02-2006).]
From: Va Beach
Registered: Jun 2000
posted 09-06-2006 08:45 PM
It would have been a cooler ending with General Gray saying "well, Ma'am, I can't blame him, I don't eat that **** either."