Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
Wedding dress $1000.00, Tux $100.00.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white t-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station bathroom, because this one is too icky.
You don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Wrinkles add character.
One mood most of the time.
Phone conversations are over in less than 5 minutes.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five day vacation requires only one suit case.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three pack.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays it's original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.