>>> >> THE GRIEVANCE ..
>>>
>>> >> I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
>>>following
>>>
>>> >>reasons:
>>>
>>> >>
>>> >> -I do physical labor.
>>>
>>> >>
>>> >> -I work at great depths.
>>>
>>> >>
>>> >> -I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
>>>
>>> >>>>> >> -I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
>>>
>>> >>
>>> >> -I work in a damp environment.
>>>
>>> >> -I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
>>>
>>> >>
>>> >> -I work in high temperatures.
>>>
>>> >>
>>> >> -My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> THE RESPONSE.....
>>>
>>> >>
>>> >> Dear Penis,
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> After assessing your request, and considering the arguments
>>>you have
>>>
>>> >>raised, the administration rejects your request for the
>>>following reasons:
>>>
>>> >> -You do not work 8 straight hours.
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> -You fall asleep after brief work periods.
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> -You do not always follow orders of the management team.
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> -You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen
>>>visiting
>>>
>>> >>other locations.
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> -You do not take initiative.
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> -You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start
>>>working.
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> -You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your
>>>shift.
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> -You don't always observe necessary safety requirements,
>>>such as
>>>
>>> >>wearing the correct protective clothing.
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> -You will retire well before you are 65.
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> -You are unable to work double shifts.
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> -You sometimes leave your designated work area before you
>>>have
>>>
>>> >>completed the assigned task.
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> And if that were NOT ALL, you have been seen constantly
>>>entering and
>>>
>>> >>exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> Sincerely,
>>>
>>> >> The Management