The new guy was an absolute wreck, pale, hands shaking, biting his nails
and moaning in fear.

"Hey, guy, what's the problem?" Roy asked.

"Oh man... I've been transferred to California," the other guy answered.

"There's crazy people in California and they have shootings, gangs, race
riots, drugs, the highest crime rate..."

"Hold on," Roy interrupted, "I've lived in California all my life, and
it is not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind
your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as
anywhere in the world."

The other passenger relaxed and stopped shaking for a moment and said,
"Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death, but if you live there and
say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do! for a living?"

"Me?" said Roy, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck."