Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slowdown in overall system performance--particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, installation of Husband 1.0 seems to have uninstalled many
other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and personal Attention 6.5, and then installed such other undesirable programs as NFL5.0, NBA 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

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Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,
while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.htm" and try to download Tears 6.2, and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But
remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will automatically download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in
the background which will eventually seize control of all your system
resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. This is
an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You! might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.*

Good luck,
Tech Support