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Author Topic:   Just some thoughts!!!
mustangmach
Journeyman

Posts: 61
From: Clinton,OK,USA
Registered: Nov 2003

posted 09-21-2004 02:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mustangmach   Click Here to Email mustangmach     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece

on those little bottles of Evian water?

Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE



2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like

making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags"

and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs,"

what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...

does that mean that one enjoys it?


5. There are four religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the

leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other

in the liquor store or at Hooters
d.Catholics don't recognize any of the above.


6. If people from Poland are called Poles,

why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?


8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?


9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages?

Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?


10 Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist

but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

1. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?


12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,

doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,

musicians denoted,cowboys deranged, models deposed,

tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?


14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?


15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?


16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible

a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .....

they're cramming for their final exam.


17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies

with tiny little spoons and forks , so I wondered

what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?


18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?

What are we supposed to do, write to them?

Why don't they just put their pictures on

the postage stamps so the mailmen can

look for them while they deliver the mail?

19. If it's true that we are here to help others,

then what exactly are the others here for?


20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.


21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?


22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?


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