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Author
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Topic: some really bad jokes!!
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capri man
Gearhead Posts: 7249
From: doerun, ga.
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted 09-10-2004 05:17 PM
   
>1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The
>ceremony wasn't much, >> but the reception was excellent.
>
>2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
electron."
>The other says, "Are you sure?" >> The first replies, "Yes, I'm
>positive..."
>
>3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
you,
>but don't start anything."
>
>4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
>
>5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't
serve
>food in here."
>
>6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
>
>7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says:
>"A beer please, and >> one for the road."
>
>8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says >> to the other: "Does
this
>taste funny to you?"
>
>9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That
>sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's Not
Unusual."
>
>10. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to
Dolly,
>"I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
>you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
>
>11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were
nothing to
>look at either.
>
>12. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
>
>13. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's
cross-eyed,
>is there any >> thing you can do for him?" >> "Well," says the vet,
"let's
>have a look >> at him." So he picks the dog up and examines >> his
eyes,
>then checks his teeth. Finally, he >> says, "I'm going to have to
put him
>down." >> >> "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" >> "No, because he's
really
>heavy." >> >>
>
>14. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the >> other day but I
couldn't
>find any. >> >>
>
>15. I went to the butcher's the other day and >> I bet him 50 bucks
that he
>couldn't reach >> the meat off the top shelf. >> He said, "No, the
steaks
>are too high." >> >>
>
>16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; >> but when they lit
a fire
>in the craft, it >> sank, proving that you can't have your kayak >>
and
>heat
>it too. >> >>------------------
mike r
racing is real
everything else is just a game.
81 capri-302-7.33 @92mph 1/8
1.54 60 ft. http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/billswebsite/pg06.html
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SteveLaRiviere
Administrator Posts: 44935
From: Saco, Maine
Registered: May 99
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posted 09-10-2004 07:12 PM
Michael Jackson goes to his doctor for an AIDS test. His doctor says "Think positive!"------------------
'70 Mustang Mach 1 351C 4V/FMX/3.25 Open
'70 Mustang Convertible 250 I6/3 speed/2.79 Open
'72 Mustang Sprint Hardtop 351C 4V/FMX/4.30 Trac Loc
'94 F-150 XL 5.8L/E4OD/3.55 Limited Slip
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adragon8u
Gearhead Posts: 5460
From: Oceano, Ca. member# 2895
Registered: Mar 2003
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posted 09-10-2004 07:27 PM
LMAO Mike! Those were good.------------------
"I started with nothing, and I still have most of it left"
http://webpages.charter.net/adragon8u/mystang
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Fastymz
Moderator Posts: 20708
From: Reno Nv USA M&M#1240
Registered: Apr 2001
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posted 09-12-2004 02:06 PM
Little Mikey is dressed as a pirate already to go out trick or treating. He goes to the first house this old Lady opens the door, she says look it's a pirate, but where are your buckneres, little Mikey looks at her and says under my buck'n hat.   ------------------
SCOOP oddly obsessed with big scoops on little Mustangs 65 coupe,351w,C4,Big Boss 429 hood scoop,8" 3.40 TracLoc. My Pics
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wrksnfx
Gearhead Posts: 356
From: Warren,MI,Macomb
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted 10-20-2004 12:34 PM
Two potato's are standing on a street corner how do you tell which one of the two is the prostitute?Scroll down
Lokk for the one wearing the shirt that says Idaho on it.
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chip67
Gearhead Posts: 245
From: louisville, ky, jefferson
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted 10-24-2004 10:12 PM
a couple of hoosiers are walking past each other on the road, one is holding a sack. "whatcha got in the sack al?" "i got me some chickens." earl says "if i can guess how many you got can i have one?" al says "if you can guess how many i got you can have both of 'em!"------------------
coupe, 306, 4 speed, 4.11's. pump gas, n/a street car. best so far is 7.50 (1/8 mile) at 92mph with 1.63 60ft. time.
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Fastymz
Moderator Posts: 20708
From: Reno Nv USA M&M#1240
Registered: Apr 2001
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posted 10-24-2004 10:37 PM
quote:
Originally posted by chip67:
a couple of hoosiers are walking past each other on the road, one is holding a sack. "whatcha got in the sack al?" "i got me some chickens." earl says "if i can guess how many you got can i have one?" al says "if you can guess how many i got you can have both of 'em!"
MikeR get it ? there are TWO chickens in the bag. ------------------
SCOOP oddly obsessed with big scoops on little Mustangs 65 coupe,351w,C4,Big Boss 429 hood scoop,8" 3.40 TracLoc. My Pics
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wrksnfx
Gearhead Posts: 356
From: Warren,MI,Macomb
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted 10-25-2004 06:04 AM
quote:
Originally posted by wrksnfx:
Two potato's are standing on a street corner how do you tell which one of the two is the prostitute?Scroll down
Lokk for the one wearing the shirt that says Idaho on it.
This goes with that. http://www.surrendermartha.com/inoudt1.html
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capri man
Gearhead Posts: 7249
From: doerun, ga.
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted 10-25-2004 06:50 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Fastymz:
MikeR get it ? there are TWO chickens in the bag.
HUH???? ------------------
mike r
racing is real
everything else is just a game.
81 capri-302-7.33 @92mph 1/8
1.54 60 ft. http://community.prestage.com/Member+Pages/789.aspx
IP: Logged |
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