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Author Topic:   foot in mouth
adragon8u
Gearhead

Posts: 4975
From: Oceano, Ca. member# 2895
Registered: Mar 2003

posted 07-10-2004 11:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for adragon8u   Click Here to Email adragon8u     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
>Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back, or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did...................

> > > > I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better


> > > >I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentleman who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

> >My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget

> > While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. >To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

>

> > > > Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No.

" I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. >Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

> > > > > > >

>This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed male news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: >"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" >Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

>

> > >

> >Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh.

------------------
"I started with nothing, and I still have most of it left"
http://webpages.charter.net/adragon8u/mystang

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SteveLaRiviere
Administrator

Posts: 43395
From: Saco, Maine
Registered: May 99

posted 07-10-2004 03:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SteveLaRiviere   Click Here to Email SteveLaRiviere     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My worst one was when I was at work and I asked a woman that had just started working there that day when her baby was due. She gave me a dirty look and told me she wasn't pregnant.

To this day, a woman could be giving birth right in front of me and I'm not saying anything!

------------------
'70 Mustang Mach 1 351C 4V/FMX/3.25 Open
'70 Mustang Convertible 250 I6/3 speed/2.79 Open
'72 Mustang Sprint Hardtop 351C 4V/FMX/4.30 Trac Loc
'94 F-150 XL 5.8L/E4OD/3.55 Limited Slip

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adragon8u
Gearhead

Posts: 4975
From: Oceano, Ca. member# 2895
Registered: Mar 2003

posted 07-10-2004 04:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for adragon8u   Click Here to Email adragon8u     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LOL! I've been there Steve.

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"I started with nothing, and I still have most of it left"
http://webpages.charter.net/adragon8u/mystang

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capri man
Gearhead

Posts: 6495
From: doerun, ga.
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 07-10-2004 04:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for capri man   Click Here to Email capri man     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yup, i have to see a head sticking out before i will say anything!

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mike r
racing is real
everything else is just a game.
81 capri-302-7.33 @92mph 1/8
1.54 60 ft.

http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/billswebsite/pg06.html

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capri man
Gearhead

Posts: 6495
From: doerun, ga.
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 07-10-2004 05:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for capri man   Click Here to Email capri man     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
when i was a teenager, i was standing around bragging about errr uhhh (dating??) a certain girl in a biblical way!!!! well about the time i finished my story, i realised that her brother was in the crowd!

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mike r
racing is real
everything else is just a game.
81 capri-302-7.33 @92mph 1/8
1.54 60 ft.

http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/billswebsite/pg06.html

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