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Author Topic:   Some really bad puns
adragon8u
Gearhead

Posts: 2043
From: Oceano, Ca.
Registered: Mar 2003

posted 11-07-2003 09:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for adragon8u   Click Here to Email adragon8u     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote


1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"..

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess- nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.


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horseballz
Gearhead

Posts: 216
From: LasVegas,NV
Registered: Dec 99

posted 11-07-2003 10:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for horseballz   Click Here to Email horseballz     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ou812 (opps, I mean adragon8u),
Those equal 2/3 of a pun. You know:
P.U.
Gene

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adragon8u
Gearhead

Posts: 2043
From: Oceano, Ca.
Registered: Mar 2003

posted 11-07-2003 11:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for adragon8u   Click Here to Email adragon8u     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LOL, yeah i know they're pretty bad. I just couldn't resist. You know whay they say about humor? It's better when it's funny.

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http://webpages.charter.net/adragon8u/mystang

[This message has been edited by adragon8u (edited 11-07-2003).]

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