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Author Topic:   FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES
65darkhorse
Gearhead

Posts: 122
From: ME: Geneva, Switzerland CAR: Northern NJ :(
Registered: Aug 2002

posted 08-20-2002 12:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 65darkhorse   Click Here to Email 65darkhorse     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
> How many men does it take to open a beer?
> None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
> ----------------------------------------
> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
> probably never be able to support you.
> ----------------------------------------
> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
> closer to the kitchen sink.
> ----------------------------------------
> How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
> When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
> ----------------------------------------
> How do you fix a woman's watch?
> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
> ----------------------------------------
> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
> front door, who do you let in first?
> The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
> ----------------------------------------
> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> A woman who won't do what she's told.
> --------------------------------------
> I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
> ----------------------------------------
> I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.
> ---------------------------------------
> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
> drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
> ----------------------------------------
> Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
> ----------------------------------------
> Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
> I said, "Dust!"
> ----------------------------------------
> Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
> ----------------------------------------
> A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive
> and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
> She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
> ----------------------------------------
> Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa
> a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
> Dad: That happens in every country, son.
> ----------------------------------------
> A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
> Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all
> said the same thing: "You can have mine."
> ----------------------------------------
> The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget
> it once.
> ----------------------------------------
> Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
> street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are
> beautiful.

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hotstang
Gearhead

Posts: 328
From: Murfreesboro, Tn USA
Registered: Jun 99

posted 08-20-2002 05:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hotstang   Click Here to Email hotstang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
OK this one is bad but:

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes

nothing, you already told her twice

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SteveLaRiviere
Administrator

Posts: 26864
From: Saco, Maine
Registered: May 99

posted 08-20-2002 07:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SteveLaRiviere   Click Here to Email SteveLaRiviere     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What's the first thing a woman should do after she leaves the battered woman's shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

------------------
All Fords since 1977!

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dark7068
Gearhead

Posts: 675
From: BC, Canada
Registered: May 2002

posted 08-25-2002 01:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dark7068   Click Here to Email dark7068     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Why does the bride wear white on her wedding.... So she matches the fridge and stove.....

Rick

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MissingCat
Gearhead

Posts: 486
From: BC, Canada, Eh?
Registered: Sep 2001

posted 09-03-2002 11:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MissingCat   Click Here to Email MissingCat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What's the longest sentence in the world?

"I do"


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SteveLaRiviere
Administrator

Posts: 26864
From: Saco, Maine
Registered: May 99

posted 09-04-2002 07:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SteveLaRiviere   Click Here to Email SteveLaRiviere     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Did you even notice the only difference between 'married' and 'marred' is the I is missing?

------------------
All Fords since 1977!

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Moneymaker
Administrator

Posts: 15755
From: Lyons, IL, USA
Registered: May 99

posted 09-04-2002 07:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Moneymaker   Click Here to Email Moneymaker     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

------------------
Alex Denysenko
Co-Administrator and Moderator/ non 65-66 Mustang owner sensitivity co-ordinator

NHRA/IHRA/SRA/MCA member
NHRA and IHRA SS/LA National Record Holder '00, '01, & '02
Fleet of FoMoCo products including 88 ASC McLaren Mustang #28
Part time secret agent license #0089
Professional Manwhore
The Barry of BarrysGrrl

Quote: "I never met a magazine mechanic I liked."

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