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Author Topic:   THE MAN CODE
V8 Thumper
Gearhead

Posts: 605
From: Orange, Ca. United States of America
Registered: Dec 2001

posted 03-15-2002 10:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for V8 Thumper   Click Here to Email V8 Thumper     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

This is it. So it has been written, so it shall be.... The CODE

1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolat.

2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSH!T (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)

7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.

9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.

11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty.

12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.

13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem. * You didn't see nothin'.

15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and a supermodel delivers it... and it's free.

20. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

22. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good a**-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

23. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

24. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

25. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

26. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.

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68F100
Gearhead

Posts: 1324
From: Fort Madison, Iowa USA - United We Stand
Registered: Oct 99

posted 03-16-2002 12:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 68F100   Click Here to Email 68F100     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by V8 Thumper:
22. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good a**-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.



Heheheh...good list. I really like this one. You know your buddies sometimes deserve a good honest *** whoopin'. Just don't gang up on my buddies or you'll be in for a hell of a hurtin'.

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I65Stang
Moderator

Posts: 5089
From: Antelope, CA
Registered: Jun 99

posted 03-16-2002 12:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for I65Stang   Click Here to Email I65Stang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yup, that is the code

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mellowyellow
Gearhead

Posts: 3597
From: So. Fl.
Registered: Aug 2000

posted 03-17-2002 08:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mellowyellow     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
22. True, I guess. WOrse fight of my life, may I never have another!! Guys ganging up on a guy. We didn't even know him, but got into it. Won, but who needs THAT kind of victory! Ah youth!!!! Glad it's over!

26. Change the station!!!...And then, a repeat of 22!!!!! No thankyou!!! LOL!!

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70boss302
Journeyman

Posts: 30
From: Jeffersonville, NY USA
Registered: Mar 2002

posted 03-17-2002 10:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 70boss302   Click Here to Email 70boss302     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That #11 is a sure way to hate yourself in the morning. Why do we never go to bed with fat or ugly girls, but wake up with a few? LOL Bill

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mellowyellow
Gearhead

Posts: 3597
From: So. Fl.
Registered: Aug 2000

posted 03-17-2002 03:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mellowyellow     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And then she says: I hope you used protection....it's MY time of the month!!!
LOL! LOL!

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I65Stang
Moderator

Posts: 5089
From: Antelope, CA
Registered: Jun 99

posted 03-17-2002 07:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for I65Stang   Click Here to Email I65Stang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lol, I went over to a good friend of mines house and what do I see on the tv but #1, Chocolat. I asked him about it, he was recording it for his wife . Even if he said he wanted to watch it I wouldnt have said a thing, this is my only friend that could easily kick my ***. He is shorter than me but pure muscle (he is huge).

Btw, #24 is not true if you have friends that are bodybuilders or workout freaks .

------------------
Tim

M&M Member #35
1965 Mustang coupe, 200 I6, Holley 2300, Clifford header, true duals w/ 26" Smithys
1988 Mustang GT AOD vert, 15.810 @ 88.871 mph 100% stock w/ no traction
1976 Silverline Comoro 18' trihull ski boat, 188 hp 302 I/O, another toy
http://all.at/mustang
https://mustangsandmore.com/ubb/I65Stang.html

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