He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know
that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law! You will prepare
me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you
will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you are
going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the sex that I want.
After that, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax. You will wash
my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my
feet and hands. Then after that's done, guess who's going to dress me
and comb my hair?"

His wife replied, "The $#&% funeral director would be my guess."