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Author Topic:   the face lift.......
kwazykat
Moderator

Posts: 7447
From: ...a wonderful place to be.... orange county... NC!!!! M&M member #92 .... a blue-oval GRRL-deluxe.....
Registered: Jun 99

posted 07-26-2005 11:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for kwazykat   Click Here to Email kwazykat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
heh heh heh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday.

She spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," is the reply.

"I'm exactly 47," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. She replies, "I guess about 29."

"Nope, I'm 47."

Now, she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.

The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but, thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then I can tell you exactly how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the heck, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay,...how old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 47."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"

The old man replies, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"No, I won't get mad", she says.

"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

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Dave Witthoeft
Gearhead

Posts: 2426
From: IL.
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 07-26-2005 12:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dave Witthoeft   Click Here to Email Dave Witthoeft     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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RancheroSandraGayle
Gearhead

Posts: 197
From: Ft Bragg, NC USA
Registered: Apr 2005

posted 07-26-2005 12:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RancheroSandraGayle   Click Here to Email RancheroSandraGayle     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That's gonna be me when I turn 78!!

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Ked
Moderator

Posts: 9258
From: Fayetteville, N.C.
Registered: Jul 99

posted 07-26-2005 09:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ked   Click Here to Email Ked     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dirty old man!!!

Cute!!!

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ddenton749
unregistered
posted 07-27-2005 09:05 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I always say, "Cheap thrills are better than none at all."

------------------
'73 Convertible, 351C 2V
'91 LX Convertible 5.0
Member: Valley Forge Mustang Club
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
My Site

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DidgeyTrucker
Gearhead

Posts: 1539
From: Greenbrier, TN USA
Registered: Oct 99

posted 07-27-2005 10:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DidgeyTrucker   Click Here to Email DidgeyTrucker     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Next time I'm in McDonalds I'll try that.

Tracy

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gunrocker
Gearhead

Posts: 536
From: Colliers, WV,USA
Registered: Mar 2004

posted 07-28-2005 03:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for gunrocker     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Speaking of McDonalds, I had to inspect our local one today (I work for our county health department) and I found human lips in the hamburger meat.

I was going to close the place down for the violation, and told the manager about it.
He assured me everything was okay...they just added a new burger to the menu...it's called the McJagger!

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mustangs68
Moderator

Posts: 24529
From: Buckroe Beach Va MCA#39406 M&M #12 Member Mustang Club of Tidewater
Registered: May 99

posted 08-28-2005 09:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mustangs68   Click Here to Email mustangs68     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thats sick..LOL..but funny as hell
Sam

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