G.R.I.T.S - Girls Raised in the South



Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away

with the most awful kind of insult just as long as

it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or

"Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they

put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a

BB on a 6-lane highway."



I was thinking about this the other day when a

friend was telling about her new transplanted

northern friend who was upset because her toddler is

just beginning to talk and he has a southern accent.

My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart,

cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers, was

justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman

had CHOSEN to move to the South a couple of years

ago. Can you believe it?" said her friend, "A child

of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike

thiiiissss."



Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends

are from the North, bless their hearts. I welcome

their perspective, their friendships, and their

recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've

even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good

bread down here. And the heathens, bless their

hearts, don't like cornbread!



We've already lost too much. I was raised to say

"swayya," not swear, but you hardly ever hear anyone

say that anymore, I swayya you don't. And I've

caught myself thinking twice before saying something

is "right much," "right close," or "right good" because

non-natives think this is right funny indeed.



I have a friend from Bawston, bless her heart, who

thinks it's hilarious when I say I've got to "carry"

my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light.

She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin'" to

do something. And, bless their hearts, they don't

even know where "over yonder" is, or what "I reckon"

means!



My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her

heart, she can't help being ugly, but she could've

stayed home."



Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:



1. Drinking straight out of a can.



2. Not sending thank you notes.



3. Velvet after February.



4. White shoes before Memorial Day or after

Labor Day



Southern girls always say:



1. "Yes, ma'am."



2. "Yes, sir."



Southern girls have a distinct way with fond

expressions:



1. "Y'all come back now, ya heaah."



2. "Well, bless your heart."



3. "Drop by when you can."



4. "How's your mama?"



5. "Love your hair."



Southern girls know their three R's:



1. Rich



2. Richer



3. Richest



Southern girls know everybody's first name:



1. Honey



2. Darlin'



3. Shugah



Southern girls know the movies that speak to their

hearts:



1. "Gone With the Wind"



2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"



3. "Driving Miss Daisy"



4. "Steel Magnolias"



Southern girls know their cities dripping with

Southern charm:



1. Hotlanta or Adlanna (Atlanta as outsiders

say)



2. Richmon



3. Challston



4. S'vannah



5. Birminham



6. Nawlins'



7. Oh! and that city in Alabama ? It's

pronounced MUNTGUMRY!



Southern girls know the three deadly sins:



1. Bad hair



2. Bad manners



3. Bad blind dates



G.R.I.T.S. = Girls Raised in The South!



Now you run along, Shugah, and send this to someone

else Raised In The South, i.e., Southern Belles, or

ANY females aspiring to be GRITS. Even the northern

ones, "Bless Their Hearts".



That reminds me. I have a rubber stamp that says

"Just because your children were born in the South

does not make them Southerners. After all, if a cat

had kittens in the oven, that wouldn't make them

biscuits."



Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate

------------------
mike r
racing is real
everything else is just a game.
81 capri-302-7.25 @93mph 1/8
1.54 60ft 50 % of the fun dragracing is meeting people who will give you the shirt off their back to wipe the grease off your hands.

He said he loved to hear southern women say, "Daddy".

I wouldn't say it for him....