My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was
just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up
with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked
oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had
been mine for years? Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?

I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and
angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and
Sheer Energy pantyhose.

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt was
next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took
pains to match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three
inches lower than my original) to the thighs they stuck me
with earlier. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump.

Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One
morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified
but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the
motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My
body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish.

Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up,
unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being
attacked repeatedly and without warning.

In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next? My
poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving
turkey it now resembled.

That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical
profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell the
coffee. That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You
KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't
you?

The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted", look again.
Was it lifted from you?

I think I finally found my thighs .. and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid
a really good price for them!

This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every
night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS.

P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts.
I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of
bed I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits
as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

I hope I brought a smile to your day!