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Author Topic:   Mathmatics and Other Stuff
ddenton749
unregistered
posted 01-13-2005 11:30 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man thinking she can change the man.

A man marries a woman expecting that she will never change.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

------------------
'73 Convertible, 351C 2V
'91 LX Convertible 5.0
Member: Valley Forge Mustang Club
"Tank, I need an exit."
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
AIM, YM: topdnmustang

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Ked
Moderator

Posts: 9274
From: Fayetteville, N.C.
Registered: Jul 99

posted 01-13-2005 04:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ked   Click Here to Email Ked     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ddenton749:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


Oh Man!! That's COLD!!! But funny!

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oldstangs
Journeyman

Posts: 35
From: Indiana
Registered: Jan 2005

posted 01-13-2005 05:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for oldstangs     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


lol Thats good stuff

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