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Author Topic:   Funny stuff
rm302 boss
Gearhead

Posts: 680
From: Austin Texas
Registered: Dec 2002

posted 11-23-2003 12:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for rm302 boss   Click Here to Email rm302 boss     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
>Subject: Fwd: Fw: Airplane Maintenance
>
>After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form called a gripe
>sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the
>aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The
>mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on
>the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the
>pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be
>said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are
>some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by
>Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By
>the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
>accident.
>
> (P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
> (S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
> ..
> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
> ..
> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
> ..
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> ..
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on back-order.
> ..
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> ..
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
> ..
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
> ..
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what they're there for.
> ..
> P: IFF inoperative.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> ..
> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> S: Suspect you're right.
> ..
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
> . .
> P: Aircraft handles funny.
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
>
> ..
> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
> ..
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.
> ..
> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
> S: Took hammer away from midget.
>

------------------
1970 Boss 302
1990 Taurus SHO
1985 Mustang GT 351W
www.crcmotorsports.com

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65darkhorse
Gearhead

Posts: 1086
From: Northern NJ
Registered: Aug 2002

posted 11-23-2003 01:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 65darkhorse     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LMAO !!!

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mustangs68
Moderator

Posts: 24529
From: Buckroe Beach Va MCA#39406 M&M #12 Member Mustang Club of Tidewater
Registered: May 99

posted 11-23-2003 05:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mustangs68   Click Here to Email mustangs68     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I gotta forward them..LOL

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BarrysGrrl
Gearhead

Posts: 2037
From: Illinois/Indiana & parts inbetween
Registered: Jan 2002

posted 11-23-2003 07:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BarrysGrrl   Click Here to Email BarrysGrrl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

LMAO!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA~~~~~~

Thanks for the great belly-laugh!!!!!!

------------------
Beth

Hey - did ya hear? My Alex is CHAMP!!!

"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me." - Henry Ford (for Alex)
Alex & Beth's Homepage
MoneymakerRacing.com

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