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Author	Topic: Funny stuff
rm302 boss Gearhead Posts: 680 From: Austin Texas Registered: Dec 2002	posted 11-23-2003 12:56 PM >Subject: Fwd: Fw: Airplane Maintenance > >After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form called a gripe >sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the >aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The >mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on >the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the >pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be >said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are >some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by >Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By >the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an >accident. > > (P = The problem logged by the pilot.) > (S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.) > .. > P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. > S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. > .. > P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. > S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. > .. > P: Something loose in cockpit. > S: Something tightened in cockpit. > .. > P: Dead bugs on windshield. > S: Live bugs on back-order. > .. > P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. > S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. > .. > P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. > S: Evidence removed. > .. > P: DME volume unbelievably loud. > S: DME volume set to more believable level. > .. > P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. > S: That's what they're there for. > .. > P: IFF inoperative. > S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. > .. > P: Suspected crack in windshield. > S: Suspect you're right. > .. > P: Number 3 engine missing. > S: Engine found on right wing after brief search > . . > P: Aircraft handles funny. > S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. > > .. > P: Target radar hums. > S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. > .. > P: Mouse in cockpit. > S: Cat installed. > .. > P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. > S: Took hammer away from midget. > ------------------ 1970 Boss 302 1990 Taurus SHO 1985 Mustang GT 351W www.crcmotorsports.com IP: Logged
65darkhorse Gearhead Posts: 1086 From: Northern NJ Registered: Aug 2002	posted 11-23-2003 01:54 PM LMAO !!! IP: Logged
mustangs68 Moderator Posts: 24529 From: Buckroe Beach Va MCA#39406 M&M #12 Member Mustang Club of Tidewater Registered: May 99	posted 11-23-2003 05:21 PM I gotta forward them..LOL IP: Logged
BarrysGrrl Gearhead Posts: 2037 From: Illinois/Indiana & parts inbetween Registered: Jan 2002	posted 11-23-2003 07:40 PM LMAO!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA~~~~~~ Thanks for the great belly-laugh!!!!!! ------------------ Beth Hey - did ya hear? My Alex is CHAMP!!! "My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me." - Henry Ford (for Alex) Alex & Beth's Homepage MoneymakerRacing.com IP: Logged

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