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Author
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Topic: Age Old Question
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fordnmerc
Gearhead Posts: 504
From: Watkins Glen, NY USA
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 07-17-2002 09:30 AM
   
There is a Grrl who is interested in me, but she is only 24. I am 35. I am wondering if it would really be fair to her for us to get serious. I am thinking about those statistics regarding age and life expectancy. I am not one to overindulge in food and drink, etc, etc, and I get plenty of exercise, but there are no guarantees. I would not want to die long before she does and leave her alone for a lot of years. I know there is the old saying, "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." There IS a lot of truth in that, but still....And yes, guys, she has a 6 year old son. Her boyfriend when she was 18 left the moment he found out she was pregnant, never to be heard from again. Broke her heart, because she had thought that he really loved her. How MANY times is that kind of story repeated these days? There are so many good for nothing bastards out there!  I think that responsibility of looking after her son, by herself, has built up her character and made her an even better person than she might have been otherwise. She is genuine and caring and not self-centered like a lot of other young women these days who have never had any children. Not that I mean that ALL women without children are self centered. I know that is not the case. But a lot are. Well, I welcome everyone's thoughts.  Btw, she is actually here in New York State. About 175 miles east of me, but that is not so bad. ------------------
David "Lean on me. I am just another dumb fence post." 1978 LTD II 2 Door
1979 Ranchero GT
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I65Stang
Gearhead Posts: 5729
From: Antelope, CA
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 07-17-2002 10:59 AM
David, not to be morbid or a downer or anything but there are no guarantees as to how long ANY of us will live. Stuff happens everyday where young people die. So I dont think that the life expectancy should play a part in your decision. Here is my advice as corny as it may sound, follow your heart. If your heart is telling you go for it, the go for it. My biggest problem is that I always try to rationalize and use logic to block my heart, great things happened when I stopped thinking and followed my heart . When your heart feels enough it can overcome great obstacles (trust me) plus it is the greatest feeling in the world  .------------------
Tim M&M Member #35
1965 Mustang coupe, 200 I6, Holley 2300, Clifford header, true duals w/ 26" Smithys
1988 Mustang GT AOD vert, 15.810 @ 88.871 mph 100% stock w/ no traction
1976 Silverline Comoro 18' trihull ski boat, 188 hp 302 I/O, another toy
https://mustangsandmore.com/ubb/I65Stang.html [This message has been edited by I65Stang (edited 07-17-2002).]
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fordnmerc
Gearhead Posts: 504
From: Watkins Glen, NY USA
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 07-17-2002 10:59 AM
Right now, she drives a Saab, but maybe I could remedy that. She is a fan of the SF 49ers. I am thinking a 66 Stang fastback, turned into a Shelby clone, red with gold Lemans stripes.  And put a real trunk floor in it. That story on the news a few years ago, about the vulnerability of the gas tanks in pre-1971 Stangs, was very disturbing.
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Ken&Shell
Gearhead Posts: 486
From: Mocksville, NC
Registered: May 2000
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posted 07-17-2002 11:02 AM
I personally don't see a problem with the age difference. I also think anyone raising a child by themself has proven their maturity. If you are worried about life expectancies, then think about this. She could be the "love" of your life and you could spend 40 years together before you have to worry about that. If you don't give it a shot, you could be missing the best thing that ever happened to you..As for the 6 yr old, you are in the Grrls room, we are a little more grown up about kids unlike some of our friends in the Mens room ( ) who distance themselves because of kids in the picture. I would never date someone or exclude someone based on the fact they did or didn't have kids. Shell [This message has been edited by Ken&Shell (edited 07-17-2002).]
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fordnmerc
Gearhead Posts: 504
From: Watkins Glen, NY USA
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 07-17-2002 11:06 AM
Yeah Tim, that is what I am thinking, more and more. Cherish each day and make the most of however much time you are blessed with. Because the future is absolutely unknown, from one tick of the clock to the next.
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I65Stang
Gearhead Posts: 5729
From: Antelope, CA
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 07-17-2002 11:13 AM
Exactly, just stop thinking and do it! I try to live my life with no regrets, in 10 years would you look back and regret not trying this out?
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fordnmerc
Gearhead Posts: 504
From: Watkins Glen, NY USA
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 07-17-2002 11:20 AM
Wise advice, Shell.and Bless the Grrls, who are more grown up---about a lot of things! I think there are quite a lot of guys who could benefit from them, if they would only listen and not let that....other head do all of their thinking!
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fordnmerc
Gearhead Posts: 504
From: Watkins Glen, NY USA
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 07-17-2002 11:28 AM
Yeah Tim, and if you approach it with the right attitude and not with just the intention of self-gratification, then there are no worries about regrets, anyway.I am definitely going to see where it will take us. She is really hurting, from being left alone for so long, because guys have rejected her because of her son. And like Shell said, she may be the "love of my life." And I may be the same for her. God knows, I would never do anything to hurt her.
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Angela Stultz
Journeyman Posts: 16
From: Salem, Va
Registered: Jun 2002
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posted 07-17-2002 12:06 PM
What Shell said, I personallly go for older guys anyways. Love knows no age. I've known married couples with age differences of 20 years who were happier than couples the same age. If you love the person then thats all that matters.Futhermore in this girls situation, I think an older more mature guy might be just what she needs anyways. [This message has been edited by Angela Stultz (edited 07-17-2002).]
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Thud
Gearhead Posts: 959
From: Cumming,Ga.,USofA
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 07-17-2002 12:17 PM
"...If one has regrets; they should only be of things done. The bitterest regrets are of things that should have been; but were left undone." (I wish I could remember who said this) ------------------
Everybody hates me just because I'm paranoid... Dwayne M&M Member #18
'94 Lightning #942 of 4007
'70 Mach1
2 '69 Cyclone Spoiler II's
'65 Galaxie 500 + parts car
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Ponygirl67
Gearhead Posts: 857
From: Vancouver Island, Canada
Registered: Nov 2001
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posted 07-17-2002 01:10 PM
GO FOR IT..........if you love her the age difference won't matter, and you will regret it forever if you walk away.........------------------
'67 Prowler Purple Mustang Coupe
The Mustang Stable
Vancouver Island Mustang Assosiation WHAT IF THE HOKEY POKEY IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT?
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kwazykat
Moderator Posts: 5944
From: ...a wonderful place to be.... orange county... NC!!!! M&M member #92 .... a blue-oval GRRL-deluxe.....
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 07-17-2002 01:59 PM
age????PUH!!!!!!!!!!!! listen to these words from the princess queen of "age is an attitude".... ME!!!!!  dont get hung up on silly stuff like ...... (not to imply you are thinking ANY of these...) "i cant get into a relationship cause...oh my god... my retirement account isnt so great right now..." or "i cant get into a relationship now....what if i am hit by a bus tomorrow morning..." or "i cant get into a relationship because i am so afraid of the unknown i cant bring myself to try...." or or or well....... you know what i mean....
you cannot rationalise issues of the heart.... you just have to tumble head over and not worry about it.... when things are right they are right.... and you feel it you know it you see it.... if you dont take risks there are NEVER any rewards.... storybook endings DO HAPPEN.... but sometimes the book is really really drawn out... heavy... and long before the happy parts start.... hang in there.... and remember.... you are simply starting a relationship.... it could be the most fabulous thing to ever ever happen to you... but dont get yourself overly stressed by thinking you have to promise worlds and the universe at this point.....k??? as for the saab??? my step-laura was driving a volvo station wagon when she started dating my dad.... that box was gone in no time flat when daddy gave her a 68 XR7 cougar to drive!!!!!!! there are domestic cures for those euro-rides!!!! heh heh keep us posted!!!
kk
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Ked
Moderator Posts: 7499
From: Hot Hills o' Sand, N.C.
Registered: Jul 99
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posted 07-17-2002 07:26 PM
I agree with KK, age is nothing but attitude! Age differences are not important (as long as you are both of legal age.......) what is important is compatibility. And yes....life's regrets are always the things you DIDN'T do! Go For It!
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SteveLaRiviere
Administrator Posts: 26688
From: Saco, Maine
Registered: May 99
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posted 07-17-2002 08:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ken&Shell:
As for the 6 yr old, you are in the Grrls room, we are a little more grown up about kids unlike some of our friends in the Mens room ( ) who distance themselves because of kids in the picture. I would never date someone or exclude someone based on the fact they did or didn't have kids.
Of course you'd say that. You have kids!
------------------
'70 Mustang Mach 1, '72 Mustang Sprint, '94 F-150
Pics
MCA Member # 47773
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SteveLaRiviere
Administrator Posts: 26688
From: Saco, Maine
Registered: May 99
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posted 07-17-2002 08:07 PM
quote:
Originally posted by fordnmerc:
There is a Grrl who is interested in me, but she is only 24. I am 35.
11 years seems like a big difference now, but it won't mean so much as you get older. My parents had a great relationship, and they were 11 years apart. If you don't mind the family plan, go for it! Besides, isn't it kind of soon in your relationship to think of your golden years? ------------------
'70 Mustang Mach 1, '72 Mustang Sprint, '94 F-150
Pics
MCA Member # 47773
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kwazykat
Moderator Posts: 5944
From: ...a wonderful place to be.... orange county... NC!!!! M&M member #92 .... a blue-oval GRRL-deluxe.....
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 07-17-2002 09:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by fordnmerc:
.....if they would only listen and not let that....other head do all of their thinking!
oh! do you mean the "dumbstick"???
hahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahaaaa
men are smart when they are having sex with a woman because then..... and only then ..... they are PLUGGED INTO A GENIUS!!!!! heh heh heh heh heh heh
sorry....i couldnt resist.....
kk
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fordnmerc
Gearhead Posts: 504
From: Watkins Glen, NY USA
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 07-17-2002 10:11 PM
ROTFLMAO!! That is WONDERFUL, kk!! Any guy who can't see the humor in that needs to have his head(s) examined--get himself a mirror!! And THANKS, everyone! Good advice from the M&M family! ------------------
David "Lean on me. I am just another dumb fence post." 1978 LTD II 2 Door
1979 Ranchero GT
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I65Stang
Gearhead Posts: 5729
From: Antelope, CA
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 07-18-2002 01:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ked:
I agree with KK, age is nothing but attitude! Age differences are not important (as long as you are both of legal age.......) what is important is compatibility. And yes....life's regrets are always the things you DIDN'T do! Go For It!
Short and sweet, both Ked and her words . Lol, I think Ked summed up everyones thoughts . I think the idea of finding a "real" age is the best if your gonna go by numbers. Sorta like with IQ, taking mental age and dividing by numerical age. I've gone out with girls in their late 20s who were more like they were in their late teens, and girls younger than me who were equal in "real" age to me (and I've been told I'm old for my age). ------------------
Tim M&M Member #35
1965 Mustang coupe, 200 I6, Holley 2300, Clifford header, true duals w/ 26" Smithys
1988 Mustang GT AOD vert, 15.810 @ 88.871 mph 100% stock w/ no traction
1976 Silverline Comoro 18' trihull ski boat, 188 hp 302 I/O, another toy
https://mustangsandmore.com/ubb/I65Stang.html
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Ked
Moderator Posts: 7499
From: Hot Hills o' Sand, N.C.
Registered: Jul 99
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posted 07-18-2002 09:24 AM
~and how about older women, Tim......say about 39ish or so.....????
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I65Stang
Gearhead Posts: 5729
From: Antelope, CA
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 07-18-2002 10:04 AM
I like them the most Mmmm, strawberries Actually I am very, very bad at guessing a females age. Lets just say I have been surprised a few times and my older friends thought I was a god or something . [This message has been edited by I65Stang (edited 07-18-2002).]
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fordnmerc
Gearhead Posts: 504
From: Watkins Glen, NY USA
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 07-18-2002 11:54 AM
Ked, that photo of you and kk at the top of the page makes you both look to be EASILY in your 20s! David
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Thud
Gearhead Posts: 959
From: Cumming,Ga.,USofA
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 07-18-2002 12:37 PM
quote:
Originally posted by fordnmerc:
Ked, that photo of you and kk at the top of the page makes you both look to be EASILY in your 20s! David
Having seen the two of them in the (bright) daylight, they are both VERY young! ------------------
Everybody hates me just because I'm paranoid... Dwayne M&M Member #18
'94 Lightning #942 of 4007
'70 Mach1
2 '69 Cyclone Spoiler II's
'65 Galaxie 500 + parts car
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Ked
Moderator Posts: 7499
From: Hot Hills o' Sand, N.C.
Registered: Jul 99
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posted 07-18-2002 02:29 PM
 Why....thank you David!!! That's very sweet of you to say....I feel like I am still in my twenty's....ummmmmm....well, I can't go out drinkin' all night long and report to work the next day anymore.....but other than that! I did get carded at the liquor store not too long ago....that always helps the ego!
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Ked
Moderator Posts: 7499
From: Hot Hills o' Sand, N.C.
Registered: Jul 99
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posted 07-18-2002 02:30 PM
~ and Tim......Those were strawberries dipped in chocolate served up in a special leopard print outfit!!! remember????
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I65Stang
Gearhead Posts: 5729
From: Antelope, CA
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 07-18-2002 02:51 PM
How could I forget??? ------------------
Tim M&M Member #35
1965 Mustang coupe, 200 I6, Holley 2300, Clifford header, true duals w/ 26" Smithys
1988 Mustang GT AOD vert, 15.810 @ 88.871 mph 100% stock w/ no traction
1976 Silverline Comoro 18' trihull ski boat, 188 hp 302 I/O, another toy
https://mustangsandmore.com/ubb/I65Stang.html
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kwazykat
Moderator Posts: 5944
From: ...a wonderful place to be.... orange county... NC!!!! M&M member #92 .... a blue-oval GRRL-deluxe.....
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 07-18-2002 09:02 PM
quote:
Originally posted by fordnmerc:
Ked, that photo of you and kk at the top of the page makes you both look to be EASILY in your 20s! David
quote:
Originally posted by Thud:
Having seen the two of them in the (bright) daylight, they are both VERY young!
why....THANK YOU!!!! I LOVE YOU BOYS.......
you know thats a fact....
kk
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Mustang Tally
Gearhead Posts: 2255
From: Winston Salem, NC
Registered: May 2000
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posted 07-23-2002 12:26 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ked:
~and how about older women, Tim......say about 39ish or so.....????
BACK OFF, Baby Grrl!!! You know the Wilson Women DON'T share!! Tim is Mine...You keep your hands off...strawberries and all...
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Mustang Tally
Gearhead Posts: 2255
From: Winston Salem, NC
Registered: May 2000
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posted 07-23-2002 12:28 PM
quote:
Originally posted by fordnmerc:
Ked, that photo of you and kk at the top of the page makes you both look to be EASILY in your 20s! David
You know, David, I remember distinctly birthing both of them, but I DON'T remember that dark brown child with the red label in that pic! My Gosh! It must have weighed in at 10# at birth !! [This message has been edited by Mustang Tally (edited 07-23-2002).]
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fordnmerc
Gearhead Posts: 504
From: Watkins Glen, NY USA
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 07-23-2002 02:33 PM
Hey Tally, do you suppose that could be Mr. Potato Head, in another one of his disguises?You know....SPUDS N SUDS! ------------------
David Spread Joy. Less cholesterol than butter! 1978 LTD II 2 Door
1979 Ranchero GT
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70 Pony
Gearhead Posts: 1780
From: Glenmoore, PA, USA
Registered: Jan 2000
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posted 07-28-2002 04:36 PM
I am late with this...but I say..."The hell with age"...and what people think.
Love has no rules......don't miss the chance for it...there is NOTHING like a REAL LOVE.------------------
EDDIE D
Resto Mod '70 Sport Roof
Arrest Me Red
'02 GT, Torch Red
'66 Coupe Project, "Mustang Marauder.
"If I knew I would have lived this long, I would have taken better care of myself !"
"U.S. Marines; First to go. Last to know !"
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Ked
Moderator Posts: 7499
From: Hot Hills o' Sand, N.C.
Registered: Jul 99
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posted 07-29-2002 08:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by 70 Pony:
there is NOTHING like a REAL LOVE.
unfortunately Eddie, that is not something everyone gets to know in their lifetime.........so those that doe have a very special gift!
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fordnmerc
Gearhead Posts: 504
From: Watkins Glen, NY USA
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 07-29-2002 11:18 PM
Well, unfortunately, she turned out to be rather messed up. Volatile mood swings, on Zoloft, etc.  She had said: "Call me, anytime." So I called a little before 6pm one day, thinking she would be available, before it was time for her to sit down to supper, or whatever. Nope. She was still in her car, on her way home from work. She asked me if I could call back in ten minutes, as she said traffic was heavy. I said sure. I waited 15 minutes, just to give her a little extra time. When I called, there was no answer and I had to leave a voice mail message. I have heard no more from her. My emails have gone unanswered, no calls, nothing. Well, she had said that most guys are a$$holes and that she was glad to find one who wasn't. But evidently, in her mind, I have now become one. All because of giving her an extra five minutes, out of courtesy! But, if she has that degree of a volatile personality, I guess I am better off staying away, anyway. She HAD mentioned that she only takes her Zoloft intermittently. Not a real Grrl after all.  ------------------
David Spread Joy. Less cholesterol than butter! 1978 LTD II 2 Door
1979 Ranchero GT
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Ked
Moderator Posts: 7499
From: Hot Hills o' Sand, N.C.
Registered: Jul 99
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posted 07-30-2002 09:19 AM
better to find out now and not later, David......
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Angela Stultz
Journeyman Posts: 16
From: Salem, Va
Registered: Jun 2002
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posted 07-30-2002 10:26 AM
That is definately crazy, I'll usually give them more time as well just so I won't seem like I'm being a pest. What Ked said, better now than later.
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fordnmerc
Gearhead Posts: 504
From: Watkins Glen, NY USA
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted 07-30-2002 03:17 PM
Well, the GOOD NEWS is that since then I have been corresponding with a girl who is 36 and seems very sweet. We are relaxed and comfortable in our emails and it is a whole different atmosphere. She is also nearly 200 miles away from me, but we have already talked about meeting halfway, maybe in mid to late August.How quickly things can change. I am more optimistic this time, while remembering to be cautious as well. Neither one of us intends to rush into anything. The thing that kind of tickles me is that she majored in psychology in college, yet she seems very down to earth about it and there is no sense that she wants to psychoanalyze everyone. We shall see.... ------------------
David Spread Joy. Less cholesterol than butter! 1978 LTD II 2 Door
1979 Ranchero GT
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kwazykat
Moderator Posts: 5944
From: ...a wonderful place to be.... orange county... NC!!!! M&M member #92 .... a blue-oval GRRL-deluxe.....
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 07-30-2002 10:31 PM
quote:
Originally posted by fordnmerc:
She is also nearly 200 miles away from me...
dang baby......thats like having her in your back yard...... 200 miles is a quick trip.... and yah.... the long-distance thing can work... it is just that eventually....you gotta get closer .... good luck!!!!
kk
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TomP
Gearhead Posts: 4429
From: Delta BC Canada
Registered: Dec 99
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posted 07-31-2002 11:09 PM
11 years ain't age difference... just ask Bill Wyman! LMAOI suppose it's better to have an 18 year old than a 40 year old if neither one understands you anyways.
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