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Author Topic:   How Men and Women Shower
Mach1Maniac
Journeyman

Posts: 29
From: Texas
Registered: Feb 2002

posted 05-15-2002 02:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mach1Maniac     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
How to Shower - Like A Woman
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to
lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along
the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so
that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.

4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.

7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with
natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red
raw.

9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you
must make sure that it has all come off).

11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it
waxed instead.

12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you freeze / roast

13. Turn off shower.

14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Mould and
Mildew Remover.

15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African Country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a blemish. Attack with
nails/tweezers/stanley knife/sander/power drill if found.

17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and
then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

How to Shower - Like A Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake
willy at her making a "wey hey" sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror, suck in your gut, look for
pecs. Admire yourself in the mirror.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).

6. Wash your face.

7. Wash your armpits.

8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.

10. Ensure you leave "special" hair on the soap bar.

11. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).

12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.

14. Pee (in the shower).

15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor
because you left the curtain hanging out of the bath the whole time.

16. Partially dry off.

17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire self again.

18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

19. Leave bathroom light on.

20. Return to the bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass your wife,
pull off towel, grab willy, repeat "Wey hey" sound.

21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.
Well it works for me

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kwazykat
Moderator

Posts: 5594
From: ...a wonderful place to be.... orange county... NC!!!! M&M member #92 .... a blue-oval GRRL-deluxe.....
Registered: Jun 99

posted 05-15-2002 03:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for kwazykat   Click Here to Email kwazykat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Mach1Maniac:
.....sectioned laundry basket according to lights and darks.....

teeheeheheheheheeeee

i know of some boy somewhere
who says the way to seperate laundry is:

clean and dirty

heh heh heh
oh mercy..... now what.....
teeeeheehehheeeee


kk

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Ponygirl67
Gearhead

Posts: 804
From: Vancouver Island, Canada
Registered: Nov 2001

posted 05-15-2002 07:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ponygirl67   Click Here to Email Ponygirl67     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LMAO....hilarious!!!

------------------
Speed kills...drive a Chevy!!!
The Mustang Stable
Vancouver Island Mustang Assosiation
'67 Purple Mustang Coupe

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gttorinofan
Gearhead

Posts: 177
From: Charlevoix, mi, USA
Registered: Mar 2002

posted 05-17-2002 12:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for gttorinofan   Click Here to Email gttorinofan     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So What exactly is your point??

------------------
You can never own too many cars.
68 Torino GT Fastback
75 Bronco
82 Capri 5.0

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