Brought to you in part by:

.

Tools & Supplies by Eastwood

  Mustangsandmore Forums
  Gearhead Grrls
  Hallmark Moments

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq | search

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Hallmark Moments
Ked
Moderator

Posts: 6484
From: Don't Let Your Mind Wander....it's Far Too Small to Be Out There By Itself!
Registered: Jul 99

posted 01-28-2002 08:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ked   Click Here to Email Ked     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
These cracked me up!!
**************************

1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" -
Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin TX

2. An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest. - Kate Newman, 46,Winston-Salem, NC

3. I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera! -
Name Withheld

4. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."- Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI

5. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. - Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD

6. A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker,she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her Embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB, OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

7. A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the
back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom." She screamed. "I did," He said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

------------------
The MOST Conservative Grrl

1970 Mustang Coupe, the SheStang
1964 Fairlane Sedan, constant project
'94 Mustang GT Convertible, canary yellow, the Queen Bee

Mustangsandmore.com Member #142

IP: Logged

Ponygirl67
Gearhead

Posts: 240
From: Vancouver Island, Canada
Registered: Nov 2001

posted 01-29-2002 02:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ponygirl67   Click Here to Email Ponygirl67     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ked:
These cracked me up!!
**************************


3. I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera! -
Name Withheld


7. A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the
back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom." She screamed. "I did," He said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."



OMG too funny, both of the above would likely happen in our house..hahahahahhaha.
Thanks for the chuckle Ked.

------------------
http://www.squeakie.stangnet.com
'67 Purple Mustang Coupe
Is it spring yet???

IP: Logged

Mustang Tally
Gearhead

Posts: 1804
From: Winston Salem, NC
Registered: May 2000

posted 01-30-2002 07:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mustang Tally   Click Here to Email Mustang Tally     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ked, a good chuckle for me this morning!!

IP: Logged

kwazykat
Moderator

Posts: 4725
From: me??? what planet are YOU from!!?.... heh heh heh..... M&M member #92
Registered: Jun 99

posted 01-30-2002 08:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for kwazykat   Click Here to Email kwazykat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ked:
......"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job"......


heh heh heh heh
tooooo funny!!


kk

IP: Logged

ccode67
Gearhead

Posts: 601
From: douglasville,ga,usa
Registered: Mar 2001

posted 01-30-2002 08:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ccode67   Click Here to Email ccode67     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would end up in jail if I asked that question at the salon, being bald they would know my "real" intent.

IP: Logged

Ked
Moderator

Posts: 6484
From: Don't Let Your Mind Wander....it's Far Too Small to Be Out There By Itself!
Registered: Jul 99

posted 01-30-2002 09:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ked   Click Here to Email Ked     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh I dunno, Stuart....some guys try to part it way down low and blow it over one side...... (I hope you don't do that, 'cause you know it ain't foolin' anyone, right?)

Let me tell ya, bald is sexy!!!!

IP: Logged

ccode67
Gearhead

Posts: 601
From: douglasville,ga,usa
Registered: Mar 2001

posted 01-30-2002 10:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ccode67   Click Here to Email ccode67     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
HEY EVERYBODY, KED THINKS I'M SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOO HOOOO JUST MADE MY DAY.

I've been called alot of things, sexy isn't one of them.

By the way, no bad combover for me, went bald cold turkey, here yesterday, gone today, okay it just seems like one day was all it took.

IP: Logged

All times are ET (US)

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Mustangsandmore Front Page

Copyright 2002, Steve LaRiviere


Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.47d

Amazon Honor System Click Here to Pay Learn More

[Build a free Mustangsandmore.ws Home Page!]

[About M&M][Acronym Guide][Calendar of Events][Chat Room][Classified Ads] [Links]

[Members' Photos] [M&M Mug Shots] [Technical Articles][Ford Parts Number Deciphering

[ Mustangsandmore.com Bookstore] [Advertise on Mustangsandmore.com] [Mustangsandmore.com T-Shirts]