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Author
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Topic: Can't pee, can't drive!
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Fastback68
Gearhead Posts: 3093
From: Sucat, Paranaque, Philippines
Registered: Jul 99
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posted 03-16-2005 08:29 AM
   
Here's a vent you won't hear every day! Let's hear your jokey advice, but some serious stuff would be good too!
I recently became a resident of the Philippines, so I can no longer use an international driving license. So I go along to change my UK license to a local one. But I have to take a medical.
As part of the war on drugs, you have to take a leak in a bottle in a toilet with the door wide open, while a room full of others watch and wait.
For whatever reason, I have NEVER been able to take a leak in public unless I'm drunk or with really good friends! And because of that, I also have a very strong bladder.
So I stood there like a total fool, nothing happening. And of course they told me to drink a load of water. So I sat outside the testing booth buying bottle after bottle of water, waiting for the urge. All the girls were laughing, and then when I finally went into the toilet again, it was like I had a fan club urging me on. But nothing!
I felt utterly humiliated, and since my international licence expired today, I can no longer drive.
Serious question - I want to put in an official request for exemption from this test. What would I call it - this psychological condition? I'm not shy, and will whip my pants down for anyone for a buck. But if someone's watching, the waterworks don't work.
Sighmon
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adragon8u
Gearhead Posts: 4916
From: Oceano, Ca. member# 2895
Registered: Mar 2003
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posted 03-16-2005 08:34 AM
At the very least, request privacy.------------------
"It's better to have loved a short girl,
Then never to have loved a tall"
http://webpages.charter.net/adragon8u/mystang
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whiteknight289
Gearhead Posts: 1348
From: Wheaton, IL, USA
Registered: Mar 2004
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posted 03-16-2005 09:12 AM
Simon,
Maybe instead of an exemption from the test they will modify the test to be a blood test instead if you volunteer to pay for any extra cost involved.
Your condition is like stagefright and a common term for it is 'shy bladder'. This link might help:
http://www.paruresis.org/good luck!
Scott
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Fastback68
Gearhead Posts: 3093
From: Sucat, Paranaque, Philippines
Registered: Jul 99
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posted 03-16-2005 09:43 AM
Oh boy, I wanted to do this the right way, but I live in the second most corrupt country (latest listing) in the world.
I just got a call from the examiner. I'd filled out the form with my phone number. The equivalent of $40 will get me through the drug test. To keep on the road, I'm gonna cave.
But I'm also going to read that link on stage fright. The UK license is good until I'm 70, but the local one needs renewing every 3 years!
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capri man
Gearhead Posts: 6417
From: doerun, ga.
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted 03-16-2005 09:55 AM
simon, you just dont know how hard it is for me to be serious and nice here!!! 
i have the same problem, i have heard it called a bashful bladder. try tickling the very top of your azz crack while you are trying. works for me!! 
ok smart azzes, let the jokes begin!!------------------
mike r
racing is real
everything else is just a game.
81 capri-302-7.25 @93mph 1/8
1.54 60 ft.
http://community.prestage.com/Member+Pages/789.aspx
M&M member #839
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SteveLaRiviere
Administrator Posts: 43152
From: Saco, Maine
Registered: May 99
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posted 03-16-2005 10:00 AM
This topic has taken an ugly turn...  Simon, after you pay them their bribe, pee all over their counter.  ------------------
'70 Mustang Mach 1 351C 4V/FMX/3.25 Open
'70 Mustang Convertible 250 I6/3 speed/2.79 Open
'72 Mustang Sprint Hardtop 351C 4V/FMX/4.30 Trac Loc
'94 F-150 XL 5.8L/E4OD/3.55 Limited Slip
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beachbum
Gearhead Posts: 222
From: Florida
Registered: Oct 2001
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posted 03-16-2005 12:14 PM
Gees I have the opposite problem, I have to plan ahead where ever I go, making sure a bathroom is near, movies,store, traveling, it's a pain in the azz.
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kcode
Gearhead Posts: 3029
From: alvaton,ky,usa Suburb of Bowling Green, M&M #79, MCA #29208
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 03-16-2005 01:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by capri man:
simon, you just dont know how hard it is for me to be serious and nice here!!!
i have the same problem, i have heard it called a bashful bladder. try tickling the very top of your azz crack while you are trying. works for me!!
ok smart azzes, let the jokes begin!!
Mike,
After about 6 bottles of Bud Lite, I find it hard to believe that you would have that kind of problem. I figured you would be just the opposite. Remind me not to go to the john at the same time with you, unless I bring a feather to tickle you with. Mike
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Dave Gibson
Moderator Posts: 8967
From: Norfolk, Virginia, USA M&M#166 MCA#47921
Registered: Aug 99
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posted 03-16-2005 01:44 PM
No problem with the open door and a fellow looking over your shoulder. I get random drug tests at least five times a year, give or take. I just drink plenty of coffe before I get there. I aslo make sure that it's time to go to the point that my eyes are swimming. Another trick that works well is to have someone poor water from one cup to another, back and forth. Usually the sound of running water will make one have to go.  Dave & Terri ------------------
'65 Mustang Fastback
'66 Mustang Coupe
'02 Explorer XLT
Common sense isn't common anymore.
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indyphil
Gearhead Posts: 2398
From: Senoia, G.A. USA
Registered: Jul 2002
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posted 03-16-2005 02:13 PM
All kinds of mental images that I didnt want in my head.Over here (at least for my company) they allow you privacy, but they immediatley measure the temperature of the pee, it has to be 98 degrees for them to accept it. Otherwise they will accuse you of smuggling in someone elses pee. Its not as foolproof as the stall peeping I guess. Oh yeah and I watched a mythbusters episode that confirmed that eating poppyseed muffins and poppyseed bagels will make you fail drug tests based on opiates. you need to be poppyseed free for at least 24 hours. ------------------
'68 coupe, '66 289 C code
engine, edel 600cfm carb, performer intake, dual exhaust http://www.geocities.com/ottouk_77/68mustang.htm
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Fastymz
Moderator Posts: 18703
From: Reno Nv USA MEM#1240
Registered: Apr 2001
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posted 03-16-2005 02:55 PM
I'm a member of that club too. 
Try going to a sporting event, or the drags with those big metal troft's.
Quote MikeR "i have heard it called a bashful bladder. try tickling the very top of your azz crack while you are trying. works for me!!"
Mike, I don't want to know where you learned that from.
------------------
oddly obsessed with big scoops on little Mustangs
65 coupe 351w C4 Big Boss 429 hood scoop,8" 3.40 TracLoc. My Pics [This message has been edited by Fastymz (edited 03-16-2005).]
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whiteknight289
Gearhead Posts: 1348
From: Wheaton, IL, USA
Registered: Mar 2004
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posted 03-16-2005 03:32 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Fastymz:
tickling the very top of your azz crack while you are trying. works for me!
Are you using just a feather or the whole chicken?
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Fastymz
Moderator Posts: 18703
From: Reno Nv USA MEM#1240
Registered: Apr 2001
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posted 03-16-2005 03:37 PM
quote:
Originally posted by whiteknight289:
Are you using just a feather or the whole chicken?
That was Mike's quote not mine. ------------------
oddly obsessed with big scoops on little Mustangs 65 coupe 351w C4 Big Boss 429 hood scoop,8" 3.40 TracLoc. My Pics
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mustangs68
Moderator Posts: 22320
From: Buckroe Beach Va MCA#39406 M&M #12 Member Mustang Club of Tidewater
Registered: May 99
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posted 03-16-2005 04:28 PM
I have to plan too..I know every Micky D's and rest stop from here to Dover and have used everyone of them But like someone said bout water,,if there's a sink near by turn on the tap and let the water run. I have tanks I have to change each afternoon at work,as soon I hit that valve and the solution hits that 5 gallon bucket..I gotta go! And another thing them Damn fountains at Home Improvement store and Flower Stores..Gota out law them I cant pass one with out headed to pee... On this is one thread with just way to much info in it Sam
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stc65coupe351w
Gearhead Posts: 227
From: Riverside California
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted 03-16-2005 05:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Fastymz:
I'm a member of that club too.
Try going to a sporting event, or the drags with those big metal troft's.
Same here. I had to go so bad I had the sharpest pain in the bladder. Have been followed to the bathroom and a line formed behind me and nothing? After about a min he left and as the door closed I pissed so hard I thought the porcelain was going to crack. Only time I used a stainless troft was back in the 60's and my two brothers and I ( I was only about 5 years old) were at the beach and we thought it was for washing the sand off your feet. My grandma had to come in and get us out of it. Why I am saying this I do not know......Drops head and wonders off in shame.. ------------------
-1974 351w Block Bored .30-1969 351w Heads Fully Ported
-Custom made Ford 9" with 3" Axle Tubes-28 Detroit Locker-3.73 Gears-Shelby Traction Bars
Pics Michael
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TrishOfStc
Journeyman Posts: 54
From: Riverside, Ca
Registered: Jan 2005
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posted 03-16-2005 06:19 PM
Ummmm, this is starting to read like the potty training 101. LOL
Thank God us grrls don't seem to have this problem.[This message has been edited by TrishOfStc (edited 03-16-2005).]
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SteveLaRiviere
Administrator Posts: 43152
From: Saco, Maine
Registered: May 99
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posted 03-16-2005 06:31 PM
Maybe if you can't pee, you shouldn't drive... ------------------
'70 Mustang Mach 1 351C 4V/FMX/3.25 Open
'70 Mustang Convertible 250 I6/3 speed/2.79 Open
'72 Mustang Sprint Hardtop 351C 4V/FMX/4.30 Trac Loc
'94 F-150 XL 5.8L/E4OD/3.55 Limited Slip
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stang68
Gearhead Posts: 543
From: Buckroe Beach ,Hampton,Va.
Registered: Jun 2004
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posted 03-16-2005 07:27 PM
now after reading these posts im scared to go into a public restroom fear that someone will attempt that feather trick and now will have to be forced to stop along sides of roads to avoid being attacked by a feather stalker...this is just great some else to tell mny therapist lol
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adragon8u
Gearhead Posts: 4916
From: Oceano, Ca. member# 2895
Registered: Mar 2003
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posted 03-16-2005 07:32 PM
I had similar problem. Couldn't make love with the lights on. After therapy, I can't make love unless 10 people are watching :P
(this is a joke of course)------------------
"It's better to have loved a short girl,
Then never to have loved a tall"
http://webpages.charter.net/adragon8u/mystang [This message has been edited by adragon8u (edited 03-16-2005).]
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mustangs68
Moderator Posts: 22320
From: Buckroe Beach Va MCA#39406 M&M #12 Member Mustang Club of Tidewater
Registered: May 99
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posted 03-16-2005 09:27 PM
Someone need to lock this thread..waaaay too much info for the net...LOLCan you imagne someone doing a search and coming up with this thread..LOL sam
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Fastback68
Gearhead Posts: 3093
From: Sucat, Paranaque, Philippines
Registered: Jul 99
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posted 03-16-2005 10:03 PM
On the contrary, I have found this thread very helpful in coming to terms with my life-threatening problem! I am not alone
I believe Michael - stc65coupe351w - may be the closest among you to a soul mate. You see, the problem with Dave's solution - coffee etc. and then waiting until there are tears streaming down your cheeks - is that you might STILL not be able to pee. Folks like myself and Michael have bladders that will endure incredible pain before they finally let go. So simply by pumping yourself full of liquids before marching into a public place you risk an even worse nightmare - buckling over in agony and still not being able to pee.
Way to go, Michael, I know what you mean about cracking the porcelain Isn't it wonderful when it happens???
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stc65coupe351w
Gearhead Posts: 227
From: Riverside California
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted 03-16-2005 11:26 PM
Yes it is, I have times left and just waited till I got home.------------------
-1974 351w Block Bored .30-1969 351w Heads Fully Ported
-Custom made Ford 9" with 3" Axle Tubes-28 Detroit Locker-3.73 Gears-Shelby Traction Bars
Pics Michael
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TrishOfStc
Journeyman Posts: 54
From: Riverside, Ca
Registered: Jan 2005
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posted 03-16-2005 11:46 PM
Yes he has, and I thought it was only him having an anxiety attack because someone else could see. Although some of the stories are funny like his back teeth floating because some guy took his two sons in to go and between the three of them they couldn't stop fighting over who was going to go first. Guess he is not alone. Although it is tough when we have to cut short our errands because of a need for privacy. So for you my dear I will make a public apology for all the times I lost patience. And I thought all guys could just do whatever in front of whom ever, guess not. However I have seen the opposite where they just whip it out and flood the streets. And they say women are difficult.
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68 S-code GT
Gearhead Posts: 2518
From: Sayreville, NJ, US
Registered: Mar 2000
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posted 03-17-2005 03:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by capri man:
try tickling the very top of your azz crack while you are trying. works for me!!
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stc65coupe351w
Gearhead Posts: 227
From: Riverside California
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted 03-17-2005 05:43 PM
Somehow I can't see being in a ( Say biker bar ) having to P. Not being able to so while holding yourself you tickle your crack with the other hand with Bubba standing behind you waiting??????  ------------------
-1974 351w Block Bored .30-1969 351w Heads Fully Ported
-Custom made Ford 9" with 3" Axle Tubes-28 Detroit Locker-3.73 Gears-Shelby Traction Bars
Pics Michael
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TomP
Gearhead Posts: 5761
From: Delta BC Canada
Registered: Dec 99
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posted 03-18-2005 01:47 AM
Girls were laughing at you? Which way were you facing?
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Fastback68
Gearhead Posts: 3093
From: Sucat, Paranaque, Philippines
Registered: Jul 99
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posted 03-18-2005 01:59 AM
No no no no no The girls were laughing at me because I was sitting outside ordering bottle after bottle of water, and the whole danged world knew why!
Plus the girl serving me insisted on lining the empties up on the counter!
As each bottle was emptied and another came out, giggly comments like "Wala pa! (not yet!) could be heard, while sage commentators compared the ability of Filipinos to pee anytime, any place with these crazy Americanos (all whites are Americans) for being so sensitive.
I tried to pretend I was just extremely thirsty, but by about the fifth bottle that no longer washed.
Anyhow, it's a day I'd like to forget
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SteveLaRiviere
Administrator Posts: 43152
From: Saco, Maine
Registered: May 99
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posted 03-18-2005 08:01 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Fastback68:
these crazy Americanos (all whites are Americans) for being so sensitive.
I wish I had been with you, I would have peed all over them and showed them what a crazy American looks like... ------------------
'70 Mustang Mach 1 351C 4V/FMX/3.25 Open
'70 Mustang Convertible 250 I6/3 speed/2.79 Open
'72 Mustang Sprint Hardtop 351C 4V/FMX/4.30 Trac Loc
'94 F-150 XL 5.8L/E4OD/3.55 Limited Slip
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Billy Mac
Gearhead Posts: 824
From: S.Ga
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted 03-18-2005 08:53 AM
OMG....that's funny.....Not the situation, mind you.....but....well yeah....the situation....Women have said for years, that our "equipment" has a mind of its own....and I suppose if it wants to go...it'll go......if-n it Don't wanna go...no amount of bribing, straining, pleading or threatening is gonna make it happen.....(hand in a warm bowl of water, perhaps??)Mike (Capriman).....You scare me, Bro.....(LOL)
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Thud
Gearhead Posts: 1258
From: Cumming,Ga.,USofA
Registered: Jun 99
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posted 03-18-2005 08:57 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Billy Mac:
Mike (Capriman).....You scare me, Bro.....(LOL)
'at boy just ain't right......
------------------
"I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months." - W.C. Fields - "I don't care where I sit, as long as I get fed." - Calvin Trillin - Dwayne M&M Member #18
Son of Smurf
'94 Lightning #942 of 4007
'67 Mustang Coupe
'70 Mach1
'75 Cougar
'65 Galaxie 500 + parts car
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exlocal
Gearhead Posts: 205
From: hacienda hts., CA, USA
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted 03-18-2005 09:10 AM
quote:
Originally posted by beachbum:
Gees I have the opposite problem, I have to plan ahead where ever I go, making sure a bathroom is near, movies,store, traveling, it's a pain in the azz.
It's called old age for me. I work "on the road" all day, so carry some change for those pay toilets and also remember which office buildings have open restrooms.
------------------
reliving youth
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mustangs68
Moderator Posts: 22320
From: Buckroe Beach Va MCA#39406 M&M #12 Member Mustang Club of Tidewater
Registered: May 99
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posted 03-18-2005 04:03 PM
I challenage anyone to find a McDonald's in SoEVa I haven't peed in
Sam
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